How To Torture Your Teen
Once in a while, you as a parent, should have a little fun.
I mean, you gave birth to them, you bathe them, clothe them, feed them, changed their diapers…heck you ladies have cleaned up messes that would make the Roto-rooter man puke!
Yet, the more important factor to consider here is: once in a blue moon, you should exercise your privilege of being mom and dad for the greater comic good. It’s as simple as that.
So, if you’ve had the kind of day where your teen hasn’t listened as they should have, or maybe they hit you with some sarcasm that they should have refrained from, I want to give you a treat:
Acceptable torture for your teen.
No, this does not involve pain in any way, except maybe their ego…it’s just something that will make most teens scream and make you laugh until it hurts. No scars, no wounds…just fun and a look of shock you’ll be able to make postcards from. All for a couple hours of prep and a single dollar. Seriously–just a buck.
Ready?
Go to your local dollar store and buy a bag of generic marbles. Any kind will do, but if you happen to luck out and find some metal ones, grab ‘em–they work the best. Now, some of us die-hard discipline, ‘honor thy mother and thy father or thou shalt be in serious crap’ parents take an extra step: buy the large metal balls used for larger game with wrist-rockets instead of the marbles. They cost a bit more, but the level of laughter is much more satisfying. I got mine from the local Wal-Mart.
Now take the marbles and place them in the freezer. Don’t let the teen find them. Paper lunch sacs works perfect. Roll the top closed and leave them through the night.
Next, plan the time for attack. I like to encourage my teens to stay up and watch a good movie or two, just to make sure they’re up late and really tired when they go to bed. That way if I make a mistake, they’re too out of it to stir or care.
Take the bag, open the top and hold the bottom of the bag in your palm. DO NOT HOLD THE MARBLES IN YOUR NAKED HAND…it warms them up too fast and you miss the true effect.
Sneak into the teens room, lift up the sheets and quickly pour the marbles into the bed. Let the sheet fall immediately behind the last marble and watch the show.
The freeze hits quickly, but the best part is watching the teen try and get away from the sensation. No matter where they roll, the marbles follow the indentation in the bed and stick to them. 7 out of 10 times, they end up flipping out of bed, onto the floor.
Best time to do this? Oh anytime you need a pick-me-up…but the most dramatic effects always happen in the winter months. Teens want to stay snuggled under the covers, which amplifies my giggle reflex when they hit the floor.
Have some fun, bring a camera. If you send me the pics, I’ll post them here if anyone’s interested. If you have a movie and put it on Youtube, I’ll post it here as well.
Read MoreUtah Bankruptcy…the how to not to.
As I make this post, there are exactly 1,275 specific conversations going on about Utah Bankruptcy. Over 18,000 cases are filed each and every month in my back yard. I make a few other clicks and find 9,844 specific conversations about California Bankruptcy at the same time, where over 218,000 filed each month. I personally hate this subject (only lawyers seem to like it), but I’ve been watching the flow of conversations on the internet and I had to post a comment.
The nation is going to pot and there are a great number of families that will be exposed to the painful process of bankruptcy.
(shivers with fear and dread at the word…) Having to do this before myself, I guess I wanted to put in a positive plug for those who are at the precipice of this decision.
There’s a stigma associated with bankruptcy that seems to hurt our hearts. A feeling that we have in some way failed when bankruptcy comes knocking at our doors. That we have let others down. We forget that the laws were put in place for people who ‘can’t’ pay, not ‘won’t’ pay. A huge difference where intent does count.
I may regret this later, but I want to help anyone who is contemplating this path by sharing what my family went through and walk you through the choices we had to make. It saved us a great deal of heartache, a great deal of embarrassment and a TON of money.
Can’t make the decisions for you, but hopefully you’ll see that you’re not alone in having to make a difficult one.
Read MoreMothers Day
What did you do for your mother on Mothers Day?
I know I should try and say something profound, maybe something pithy, but I’m at a loss.
My mom died in 2006 in a car accident. My mother in law gets bombarded with cards made from my children. Kathi doesn’t give a fat jockey about the holiday (she can’t stand most holidays except birthdays)…so I’m not sure there’s much for me to say.
I miss my mom.
You never know when loved ones will be gone for good. Don’t waste a moment if you have the opportunity. Make sure you tell them you love them, especially and most specifically your mother. She gave you life, she cared for you and most likely cleaned up things that would make the Roto-Rooter man puke.
Don’t assume they know you love them. Tell them.
Don’t end up like me, plagued with sorrow because the last time you spoke to your mom, you had a heated disagreement instead of a hug and kind word.
Trust me on this one.
-Jaime Buckley
Read MoreMy Latest Book
