How To Torture Your Teen
Once in a while, you as a parent, should have a little fun.
I mean, you gave birth to them, you bathe them, clothe them, feed them, changed their diapers…heck you ladies have cleaned up messes that would make the Roto-rooter man puke!
Yet, the more important factor to consider here is: once in a blue moon, you should exercise your privilege of being mom and dad for the greater comic good. It’s as simple as that.
So, if you’ve had the kind of day where your teen hasn’t listened as they should have, or maybe they hit you with some sarcasm that they should have refrained from, I want to give you a treat:
Acceptable torture for your teen.
No, this does not involve pain in any way, except maybe their ego…it’s just something that will make most teens scream and make you laugh until it hurts. No scars, no wounds…just fun and a look of shock you’ll be able to make postcards from. All for a couple hours of prep and a single dollar. Seriously–just a buck.
Ready?
Go to your local dollar store and buy a bag of generic marbles. Any kind will do, but if you happen to luck out and find some metal ones, grab ‘em–they work the best. Now, some of us die-hard discipline, ‘honor thy mother and thy father or thou shalt be in serious crap’ parents take an extra step: buy the large metal balls used for larger game with wrist-rockets instead of the marbles. They cost a bit more, but the level of laughter is much more satisfying. I got mine from the local Wal-Mart.
Now take the marbles and place them in the freezer. Don’t let the teen find them. Paper lunch sacs works perfect. Roll the top closed and leave them through the night.
Next, plan the time for attack. I like to encourage my teens to stay up and watch a good movie or two, just to make sure they’re up late and really tired when they go to bed. That way if I make a mistake, they’re too out of it to stir or care.
Take the bag, open the top and hold the bottom of the bag in your palm. DO NOT HOLD THE MARBLES IN YOUR NAKED HAND…it warms them up too fast and you miss the true effect.
Sneak into the teens room, lift up the sheets and quickly pour the marbles into the bed. Let the sheet fall immediately behind the last marble and watch the show.
The freeze hits quickly, but the best part is watching the teen try and get away from the sensation. No matter where they roll, the marbles follow the indentation in the bed and stick to them. 7 out of 10 times, they end up flipping out of bed, onto the floor.
Best time to do this? Oh anytime you need a pick-me-up…but the most dramatic effects always happen in the winter months. Teens want to stay snuggled under the covers, which amplifies my giggle reflex when they hit the floor.
Have some fun, bring a camera. If you send me the pics, I’ll post them here if anyone’s interested. If you have a movie and put it on Youtube, I’ll post it here as well.
Read MoreStand Back and Be Amazed.
Never underestimate the brilliance of your own family. I have been desiring some help with Wanted Hero for some time, but never could get a fire going under the hindquarters of my children. Turns out I just wasn’t lighting the right match.
Just asking for help and then being clear in what I hoped to achieve, a slew of questions were immediately thrown at me. All I had to do was be open to some (quite insightful) suggestions and BAM, I had a better solution placed in my lap and all the help I could have asked for without lifting a finger! Wow.
Seems that bright children enjoy being a vehicle for solving difficult problems.
You just have to get the flip out of their way.
Read MoreDon’t Give Up, You Matter.
Take a moment and listen to me.
It might sound crazy, but this feeling in my heart keeps pounding to share this with you, so I need your attention.
Over the past year I have had quite a few heart to heart discussion with some amazing people. People who I look up to and admire for their integrity and unwavering morals. These are the people I honestly started to think were invulnerable to bad times. The super beings who shrugged off challenges while the rest of shriveled up crying on the floor. It made my heart ache to find so many of them in pain, in anguish and a few even in deep despair due to ongoing financial circumstances.
I want to tell each of them, you and anyone else who reads this blog that the rain will not last forever.
Circumstances may test you to the very core, you may feel the world is personally against you, but hang on. Endure and make the most of those circumstances until the sun comes out once more, even if it’s nothing more than covering your head until the kicking stops. I promise you, it will eventually stop.
There’s something else you need to keep in mind.
Someone, somewhere, looks up to you. They use you as a beacon of hope when things fail them in their own life. You may never know about the life you saved, improved or inspired just because you made it through one more day and were that example of strength.
I just wanted to get on today and tell you that you matter.
You do.
Read MoreRights of a Child: Unconditional Love
I have been talking about love as a right a child should expect from a parent. In the previous article, principle based love was mentioned, to which a reader connected to ‘unconditional love’.
I agree.
What conflicts in my mind however (and this is only my opinion here, BTW) is the misunderstood application of ‘unconditional love’. Where parents all too often believe that turning the other cheek or ignoring the behavior of a child, regardless of what they do, is in fact unconditional love. Unconditional love is a separation of the sin from the sinner so to speak.
Principle based love is, I believe, a step further in combining accountability with mercy and understanding and instruction.
- Children can be taught at a very early age, the principles and concepts of accountability. Simon is a good example.
When Simon (age 3) writes on my white bedroom walls with a marker, I don’t stop loving him. Nothing can change that. However, I do hold him accountable and show him that his actions require him to make amends if possible. In this case, I show him how to clean the marks with a rag and soapy water, making the motions with him and then watch over him until he has cleaned the mark (within his ability to do so).
I expressed my disappointment, linking it to his action, but then I always increase my display of love as he is willing to follow my directions and make amends. Another good example with Simon is when I call him. Even when he has done something wrong and he knows he might be punished, he comes when called. Why? Because that is what’s expected. It is a consistent pattern reinforced over time through repetition. He knows that I will always talk with him first. We walk through the situation on his level of understanding and what he might have done wrong, explaining why it was wrong. I ask him questions to engage his mind and force his brain to come up with solutions, while recognizing his participation in the events. I give him that respect even as a child, to build his self-awareness, but also hold him accountable for what he’s done.
Again, afterward I pour my love out to him so he knows I adore him,and that I want him to make better choices in the future.
Principle based love is consistent and just.
Read MoreMy Latest Book
