Love Notes
My beloved Kathilynn,
It’s been twenty years now since God had mercy on me and showed me how much I was loved, forever changing the path I would walk the rest of my days. I still remember the moment my eyes rested upon you. That first smile that still makes my heart race. The amazing smile that makes the butterflies stir.
I still have a crush on you.
Thank you for being the love of my life.
Twenty years has taught me something about us: I have always known you. I have always loved you. My heart was reaching out, calling out to you until your heart heard the cry and echoed back. It’s so easy to love you, Kathilynn. To adore you. It’s as natural as the beat of my heart.
You are an inspiration and example of what’s best in life and humanity, and when I look at our amazing children my heart cries to the heavens in gratitude for the incredible companion I have, because my love, the best in them is the best from you.
Your laugh brightens my soul, your smile brightens my world and when you look at me, I know I am loved. I can feel it and it always amazes me how you can do that without saying a word. What we have is rare, admired and envied by many because it is based on a foundation stronger than either of us.
I look forward to the next twenty years together, growing old together and to build our dreams together. I know we can do it, because you are my personal confirmation that dreams do come true.
You are my love, my inspiration and my best friend.
Thank you for simply being you.
I love you always and forever,
Your Jester.
Read MoreSecurity: Giving a Child ‘Structure’
Since my oldest was born, Ditto, who’s now 18, we had a bed time ritual and lights out of 7:00pm. That meant after dinner we would get the little ones cleaned up, into the PJ’s and then settle down for a bed time story, sometimes two, where they could cuddle on mom and dad’s bed and have time directed to their entertainment. Hugs and kisses after that as we tucked them into bed.
Now, I never had that when I was growing up. Kathi on the other hand, talks about how her mother tucked her in up until she was 16 years old. Not the stories, but coming in and checking on her, sitting on her bedside and telling Kathi she was loved. I thought that was a bit strange the first time she told me, but then I sat back and looked at both of us. A quick glance over our personalities created an instant desire to follow in my mother-in-laws footsteps.
Over the years we had variations which included a couple years where I would spend almost an hour each night acting out stories by candle light or singing them songs (not me, heaven forbid—Kathi), but always sticking to the schedule of the 7:00pm ritual.
Over the past couple of years we have not kept that schedule and it has shown. Simon and Carley have become unruly, the older children quickly took liberties which were not theirs and suddenly mom and dad lost every second of their ‘down time’ to recuperate before the daily challenges would start again. Anyone with more than on child knows they need to have their batteries replenished with other adults each day to deal with the world of Sesame Street.
Yet it’s not just for the parents that these rituals should be initiated. It’s for the mental and emotional structure of our children. It happens to be something they can count on. Something to bring comfort when the world simply throws you about. Think of it as a nap schedule for the babies. You know a child needs a nap in the day. They all do at some time in their infant stage, or their systems get too taxed. So you lay them down and that miniature troll miraculously becomes an angel once more, once that nap quota has been filled. Needless to say we are back on schedule with not only Carley and Simon, but also with Jami Taylor and Ethany, both a tad older, but also in need of mom and dad time.
Harmony in the home is established once more.
Now what about our teenagers?
Same rule applies. All youth, so long as they are under your care and under your roof, need structure. Something they can count on until they can create structure for themselves. What some tend to miss, is that law and order (in this case it becomes the rules of your family) establish peace and create an environment of structure needed for freedom of thought, action and happiness. It helps youth know their bounds and to reenforce their responsibilities, keeping them accountable—which is what todays society seriously lacks, IMO.
Structure helps a child develop his/her mental faculties and reasoning abilities. Their discernment between right and wrong, acceptable behavior and not as well as embedding your own parental expectations for them as your children. These should all be measured out in love, patience and encouragement.
Read MoreSecurity: Associations
This is a touchy subject for me as a parent, because I feel it’s so important. Some will agree, some won’t and I have met many who simply don’t care.
A child should have good associations. That means having friends that you approve of and have influence in such connections. Can you monitor everything? Not likely. Should you? That’s debatable. The general concept here I want to make, is that your children should have associations that minimize the risk of ‘contamination’.
That’s the word that seems to offend: “contamination”.
Here’s what I specifically mean:
I don’t want my children to be associating with others who influence or boldly take them away from the values, beliefs and structure we teach in our home…until such a time that my children display an ability to reason and work out the matters on their own. From there they can choose for themselves, knowing full well the consequences of making such connections and how it will affect their life.
Now in English:
If your kid cusses, tells dirty jokes about whores and plays with Tarot cards, they won’t be welcome in my home, nor will my kids be hanging out with them. Why? Because I don’t want my kids to be like your kid. Plain and simple.
Am I over protective? I don’t believe so. Tool strict? Most likely, but proud of it, actually. I’ve had a great deal happen to me in my life, especially while growing up, to know that no one is going to actively protect my children but Kathi and I. No one loves them like we do. No one wants the very best for them like we do. No one would sacrifice for them like we do. Thus it stands to reason that no one else should have a say in how they are raised like we do. So if you feel like arguing, zip it.
Children are a lot like water storage. If you have ever stored water over a long period of time, you know to place river rocks under and around the barrels. Why? For the taste. If they are left in dirt, they eventually taste like dirt. It seems water has a perfect memory and hold an impression. So do our kids. How many times does a kid of 3 yrs. old have to hear a swear word before they start repeating it?
So consider the youth who are smoking, drinking, having sex,doing drugs, looking at pornography and actively talking badly about their parents and ask yourself if you’re willing to take the chance with your children associating with those types of personalities.
If you create structure in your child’s associations, always letting them know why you are doing such things, I promise you that a situation will arise that will vindicate your efforts in the eyes of your child. Something will happen that they will see your reasoning and support the work you have done. It’s not always easy to stand firm, but again I promise you…it’s worth every battle.
Tools of the Trade
One of the fun aspects of being an artist is using the tools and shaping your new creation, bringing it to life. Going into an art store was one of my favorite places in thew world, walking down the isles looking for the fine brushes, testing ink or shopping for the perfect paper. I could lose myself or hours looking for the right accouterments.
When we were producing Wanted Hero bi-monthly, a series of podcasts were created to help kids understand what they needed to created their own eComics (or other art project they were working on). I was out of town at the time and the Gnomes from Clockworks City were kind enough to fill in when we discussed the ‘Tools of the Trade’.
A heads up: digital information deteriorates over time when it’s not saved regularly. After 2-3 years the quality begins to falter. The actual podcast is old, pulled from our ‘vintage vault’, but the information is still good. Also keep in mind that computer information advances every 6 months…so some of the information in this podcast is good, but better is available, such as the graphics card and WHRN switched to use BLUEHOST Servers (far superior and better service than Ferdiworks.com).
Hope you enjoy and feedback is always appreciated.
Read MoreDo you have an idea for your eComic?
This may sound like a simple matter, but trust me when I say it deserves a measure of time for your consideration.
Do you have an idea for your eComic?
Sure, Brit-Boy is a Superhero from the UK, who has the phenomenal power of mind-over-cheese. He can also flip nunchakus of Leafield at deadly speeds, and slide under doors by transforming into liquid Lincolnshire Poacher…but will that be enough?
‘Enough?’ you ask, flinging your body over your sketches of Cheese-boy, like a protective parent.
What I mean is: ‘Will your storyline hold the interest of your readers?’
Yes Melanie, this even applies to your project, because anyone who draws a cartoon to entertain or convey an idea needs to consider what needs to be conveyed. From a simple one frame comic to a full blown comic book, will it be of interest to your readers. Now that you’ve decided to plug into the electronic center of the Universe (the web), what is it about your story that will set it apart? What have you created which will grab a readers attention…and KEEP it?
This is not a subject to take lightly. This question can actually help make or break your success. Simply being able to draw dynamic heroes, who can shatter meteors in a single blow, will only get you so far. Ok, you can also draw the bodacious babes wearing liquid clothes, but that won’t solve your problem, either.
Wendell soon learns no everyone is interested in "peaceful" negotiations.
In WANTED:HERO, many of the characters were developed over a period of nine years, some even longer. Now, you certainly don’t need that much time…but how well do you know your characters? How detailed is their background? Could you do genealogy on the people in your story? Yes, your Hero can rip apart the world with his bare hands…but what would he say in a normal conversation? Or, how would he react when he finds out his widowed mother, now has cancer and can’t taker care of herself??
In your case Melanie, what is the story about? Do you want people to laugh, cry, or send the author hate mail? Is there a main character that can be used as the center of attention with supporting characters as the ‘landscape’?
That might sound silly to you—but knowing the past of your characters, help you shape a believable future.
Another point to consider–is creating a storyline people can relate to.
Wendell P. Dipmier, the lead character in WANTED:HERO is just an average kid, fresh out of high school, who finds himself mistaken as the last in a royal line of heroes. Many readers write to me and tell me they actually relate to the simple guy who used to live with his mom and was a complete outcast of ‘normal’ social structures (read Wendell’s journal to get an insight into the character). The guy who had an opinion, but was never in a set of circumstances which allowed him to share those views. The guy who loves the band Keane…just like millions of other youth in the US and UK. They watch Wendell’s development through each issue (or reading his personal blog) and see how becoming a ‘hero’ may actually be possible for people like us, after all.
…and yet, all I was doing was telling the tale of my buddy, Wendell.
Asking this question may be a simple matter….but it’s an essential one.
Do you have an idea for your eComic?
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