Fat and Happy
I’m fat. My wife hates it when I say that, but she doesn’t know how to get online to challenge me, so the comment stands.
Oh, I could say I’m big boned or that it’s mostly muscle underneath, but in the world there in small, medium, large, extra large and ‘Oh My Gosh It’s Coming Towards Us!’ Yeah, that’s me. The truth is when my mom died, I didn’t give a damn about myself anymore. I stopped all exercise and personal maintenance. Yeah, I had a lifetime of lifting weights, but my gut looks like some buffet experiment that went very, VERY wrong (it’s the scoop n’ move syndrome I swear).
The other day I looked at myself and noticed something life changing. No, not the notches on my belt, but the fact that I have always been sad to one degree or another since I gained my weight. I realized that I have been waiting until I could run again, look good in a slim suit, or do a double spinning back kick again before I could “be happy”. Always self conscience, always afraid to go out in public and do speaking engagements, teach, etc. on a larger scale.
Screw that. I want to be happy now.
So you know what? I’m fat. So what. I am a decent person with pretty decent potential and I love helping people and being a strength to others. I should feel comfortable in my own skin and choose to be happy today…just because I can, not because I can fit into my parachute pants.
Ok, bad visual…but you get the meaning.
Read MoreBalance
Kathi says I don’t have ‘balance’ in my life. That I’m too focused on whatever I’m doing at the time, especially (and specifically) work.
balance |ˈbaləns|
noun
1 an even distribution of weight enabling someone or something to remain upright and steady
balance 3
: slipping in the mud but keeping their balance | she lost her balance before falling.
• stability of one’s mind or feelings : the way to some kind of peace and personal balance.
• Sailing the ability of a boat to stay on course without adjustment of the rudder.
2 a condition in which different elements are equal or in the correct proportions : overseas investments can add balance to an investment portfolio | [in sing. ] try to keep a balance between work and relaxation.
• Art harmony of design and proportion.
• [in sing. ] the relative volume of various sources of sound : the balance of the voices is good.
Yup. I’m screwed.
Read MoreMothers Day
What did you do for your mother on Mothers Day?
I know I should try and say something profound, maybe something pithy, but I’m at a loss.
My mom died in 2006 in a car accident. My mother in law gets bombarded with cards made from my children. Kathi doesn’t give a fat jockey about the holiday (she can’t stand most holidays except birthdays)…so I’m not sure there’s much for me to say.
I miss my mom.
You never know when loved ones will be gone for good. Don’t waste a moment if you have the opportunity. Make sure you tell them you love them, especially and most specifically your mother. She gave you life, she cared for you and most likely cleaned up things that would make the Roto-Rooter man puke.
Don’t assume they know you love them. Tell them.
Don’t end up like me, plagued with sorrow because the last time you spoke to your mom, you had a heated disagreement instead of a hug and kind word.
Trust me on this one.
-Jaime Buckley
Read MoreStealing Moments
I had to change the blog. It started to look too much like my life.
Self inflicted crap and confusion. Too complicated when what I want (and need) is simplification and peace. For crying out loud, I’m the father of 11 children now…peace has suddenly become a Holy Grail in my life.
So I hurt the feelings of my sweet wife, who wants me to come to bed and get some rest, so I can sit here and type out my thoughts to you nut jobs. Casting my thoughts into the blogsphere for someone to catch.
Then again, I’m not sure there’s anything unique about an artistic father of 11 who talks to himself and believes in Gnomes, Elves and senile old wizards afraid of fat women in spandex.
Read MoreMy Latest Book
