Baby -vs- Novel
As hard as we are working to finish this first novel, my beloved editor and translator to the world is too close to having the baby to spend any time thinking about writing. I don’t blame her. Arguing about points of Iskari History and whether to include the mating rituals of the Blue Bumbleback Hornswallows doesn’t apeal to me right now either.
I’m going to be a daddy again and I’m excited.
So this is notification that the Wanted Hero novel: Prelude to a Hero is on hold until the baby comes and Kathilynn can get settled in. I know that throws off the May 27th date for publication, but I will make it up to those great readers who contributed to it’s printing with an extra signed copy for the wait. It’s baby versus the book and I’m not shy to say the book loses out for the moment.
It has always been my blessing to be at home for the first two weeks with my wife and to take care of her and the baby. Not going to stop now. Life happens and we roll with it. I’ll keep you all up to date.
God Bless.
Jaime Buckley
Read MoreOpinions
Dear Children,
The world is filled with people who have different views than you do.
Yes, you may know this, but it’s wise to stop and ponder this subject in depth. I promise you that a close examination will prevent many heartaches and help you understand yourself as well as those around you. Friends, family, a love, a stranger, an employer, a political figure, a religious leader. This is a skill to serve you well if you will listen with both mind and heart.
It is perfectly ok to have a different opinion than others, even if you part without common ground. You know this from your interactions with myself and your mother. We have always respected your views when talked about in rational and calm tones. You have heard me walk through my decisions, giving a plan path for you to follow in how the decision was justified in my own mind. Rarely have you disagreed once the process was laid before you. Why? Because, I believe, you all have rational minds and a natural love for the truth. You know we love you and want the best for you. We want you to use your minds, your hearts and to reason out thoughts and paradigms placed before you.
Don’t be surprised, however, if people disagree with you and passionately too.
The challenge in discussing any opinion, according to my own rational mind, is whether it is based on fact or feeling. This is an important distinction, because I truly believe a feeling is not wrong. It may be wrongly placed, based on false information, but in and of itself, its simply what we feel or allow ourselves to feel. Anger, fear, sadness and others are simply results of how we process the information in our minds, or rather the interpretation of that information. Feelings unfortunately become our religion in many instances, holding them tight to our hearts, shouting our pain and the troubles to the world. Yet in that pain and emotion, we may lose sight of the facts, the actual truth of the matter and seek to change the circumstances to lend credibility to our initial outbursts. We want our feelings validated, both men and women to a certain degree, though I believe men gravitate more to side stepping embarrassment rather than validation.
This is a slippery slope, to speak your heart without researching and working out the facts in your mind to accompany them. Many discussions I have been privy to have ended badly with parties offended, because I seemed cold, while the debating parties rambled on in their righteous indignation, silenced in the end by simply bringing up rational questions about their nasty, aggressive emotional babbling.
Be very careful when you have strong emotional feelings, even if you are convinced they are right. Let your strong emotions lend strength to the actual truth, not the reverse. Words form easily in the heart of anger or the depths of a wallowing victim. Words which cannot be easily taken back once loosed, if at all. If you find yourself in error, never fear to apologize openly and sincerely. If you do not, you have committed a greater offense. Good men and women of society respect those who take responsibility for their actions and words and it’s how I have raised you to act.
When you speak, always try to do so thoughtfully, respectfully, rationally and calmly. It’s bee a hard thing for me to practice myself, but when I have applied those very rules of conduct, my path remains clear and the barriers few that I cannot surmount. Always strive to be kind and benevolent. Show grace and kindness, reaching out to others and soothing their minds and hearts by finding something genuine about them which you can admire. This is possible with anyone, even if it is limited to the color of their shoes. Be kind and be peacemakers, standing your ground with purpose, strength and boldness.
Respect the opinions of others. Not necessarily the content, but rather their right to have an opposite opinion to your own. It’s what makes the world go round and more importantly, you will see when you marry, that to have a beloved spouse with another point of view is a great strength. It’s what I admire so deeply about your mother. She sees things I simply do not, yet we are one and thus I look upon it as having two sets of eyes. It has become a tremendous strength to me over the years. I find it absolutely priceless, especially when I have been the fool and I can be redeemed through another’s view.
When talking with others who are so desperate and determined to have their point agreed with, with no sign of laying a common ground, listen carefully to the way they weave their words. I say weave, because you will see a common practice to turn the focus on you rather than taking responsibility for themselves. There is, many times, ill intent involved at our expense. To turn other listeners or readers upon you through accusations and meaningless banter to cover their own mistakes and wrongful boastings.
Unfortunately it has always been a great pleasure of mine to deal with such individuals and I must say mercy should be the priority, so long as you do not yield the actual truth of your statements. I fear I have been a bad example in this matter. A bully is a bully, regardless of the medium, and people with ill intent take the truth to be hard. Let me prepare you then, in a better manner than my own rough conduct and give you a key to this process. Ask clarifying questions. Ask them to repeat and define what they are saying, so that you can better understand their position, their thought process and see if perhaps you missed their intent. Repeat their answers back to them. In print, keep records, especially on the internet, where your words leave, never to be erased from the memory of computers or the research of others.
If you will always say what you mean and mean what you say, standing on the facts, you will find little you cannot overcome. My advice, however, is to avoid contention and walk away from individuals who simply refuse to see reason or to discuss any subject with you in a respectful manner. It is fine to state things in a bold and matter-of-fact manner, especially if the truth must be heard.
In the end, understand that there are those who do not have hearts to feel, ears to hear or eyes to see, except for what they have crafted in their own minds and hearts. Those are individuals you must be wary of. They leave a wake of frowns and curses, and many of them love the contention just for the sake of contention. Soothe feelings if you can and pray for them. Pray their hearts will be softened and they will see reason.
…or that they will fall prey to their own snares.
Frankly, I prefer the latter.
With all my love,
Your Father.
Read MoreThe Two Pillars
Dear Children,
The nation has caused me to ponder issues which affect our family. The country is run by the corrupt, causing the people to mourn, yet it was the people who allowed this to happen in the first place. In the case of our current President, I am not convinced people truly believed in him so much as burned with an obsession to be a part of history. To be one who helped this nation ‘change’ in a radical fashion. Some now regret their choice. I’m not certain many realized the actual change would be the undoing of this country, its liberty and its freedom.
What troubles me is the lack of unity. So many shouting their opinions, grabbing what they can, suggesting twisted versions of the problems already in play. There are a few who are working to awaken the people to the original principles of the Constitution, but it’s an uphill battle. Too many are asleep.
This is why I thought it important to share something I feel, as your father, you should know. Principles which I ask you to study out in your minds—to find the answers for yourself. It’s critical for you to stand upon your own beliefs. I want you to own your knowledge and not rely on being spoon fed by those around you.
In my opinion, this nation can never stand without two vital pillars: Truth and Virtue.
The country and its political systems are now run by those who depend upon secrecy and deception to perform their labors. They wave their right hand in our faces as the left hand breaks our laws and violates our Constitution. Try and find a man or woman who says what they mean and mean what they say. It can hardly be done, if at all, within the public offices of this country. Where are the good men? Where are the wise men? Where are the men of integrity and service? They have all gone the way of the grave or have been labeled the outcasts of society. They are mocked, spat upon and deemed of no value. In their place reside the vipers who weave their forked tongues of mischief, speaking and shaking hands behind closed doors, accepting stolen monies for deeds any good society should punish to the fullest extent the law allows.
This is what you have inherited as your future.
We value a piece of paper we call a degree more than knowledge that is learned. We favor men who’s sole purpose it to interpret the law to fit the demands of their lusts and the lusts of their taskmasters, rather than the honest, open and hardworking citizen who cares for the welfare of his neighbor.
Shame on us.
We must value truth to love it. Only when the truth is loved will it become important. Only when it becomes important will the evil be exposed, for lies all eventually come to light if you introduce the truth. Lies cannot stand and only those who demand the truth of all things will have the passion, the courage, the boldness to stand against the evils of the men who lead and direct this nation.
Children, learn to love the truth. Embrace it. Live by it and cleave it to your breasts. It will protect you in dire times and in the midst of darkness. Nothing is sweeter than the truth. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Talk true and open with your fellow men and let come what may. Do not fear the consequences of truth. Weak hearts waver in the presence of a bold truth when they are guilty or harbor evil intents. Support those who speak the truth. Seek out those who live by truth themselves. Watch for the fruits of their labors, because in this will you know the hearts of men. Good fruit cannot come from a bad tree.
Live a life of Virtue. The world we live in is saturated with immorality and perversions greater than the Earth has ever known. You will have people question the validity of this essential attribute of any good society that hopes to last. Some will interpret its definition and seek to create a compromise. We live in a nation that murders its children and holds the violation of a woman as nothing more than an inconvenience. Those guilty will not escape judgement, whether in this life or in the next. There is only one standard for virtue and that is God. There is no compromise. Search the Bible, as did our founding fathers, and know that only a nation which supports virtue will be supported in turn by their Maker. We can be blessed to be sure, for God loves all his children, but we cannot hope to have the blessings or protection he reserves for those who love Him and keep his commandments.
This nation has supported and loved men of foul dispositions and immoral character. Men who violated the sanctity of marriage with harlots and consider it of no consequence. So I ask you to ponder this: how can we honor a leader who does not honor his own flesh? If he will cast aside the most intimate of promises, the vows he makes of his own free will and choice to his own wife in the presence of God, angels and witnesses…then why would he hold to the vows of his public office? Though the matter may be a private one, the habits, intentions and heart are also used in public.
He cannot be trusted.
Our country and communities are sick. The future is in your hands. Make a stand. Search your heart and know what you believe. Know that if you do the right things for the right reasons, loving God above all, He will preserve and protect you. If this country is to be saved, it will be through those who hold these two pillars as part of their foundation.
May God bless you and preserve you,
Your Father.
Read MoreHoly Hannah My 3 Yr Old Can WHINE!
Anyone who knows my three year old Simon adores him. There’s no reason not to. He’s funny, wired and dangerously smart. His recall and comprehension levels are off the charts. Good thing is, he has a great heart: loves his family, loves people, obeys his father.
Any parent knows God has a marvelous sense of humor. We get many things we pray for. However, there’s always a trade off. He supplies your wants in exchange for some unique challenges.
I prayed for Simon to be bright, to be hyper for his brothers and father to play with him (we had suffered without more testosterone in the house for tooooooo long), and I wanted him to have a good heart. What I didn’t cover was his sick face. You know what I mean–the face all kids get when they have a fever or upset stomach. Some loud childen become peaceful when they’re sick and just want to cuddle of be held. Some children, who are soft and peaceful show that they have one foot in the burning underground. Their heads start spinning around and fire leaps from their mouths.
Yeah, Simons one of those.
The hard part is, he’s child #9 and I have yet to figure out HOW to help him calm down and chill out when he’s ill. I’m willing to help him in any way possible, but he simply won’t stop freaking out. Three days of that as long as he’s awake can wear the nerves of any adult!
So this is a call of mercy, out to any of you parents who have a child who may be a challenge when they’re sick. How do you help sooth the heart of a screaming banshee??
Read MoreParenting: The catch 22
It was a long but good weekend, starting off with Cesilea’s 18th birthday, charged with loud and excited youth in celebration of another semi-adult joining their tribe.
Saturday and Sunday brought some challenges in reminders of how our parenting style and system has changed over the years. It came up while observing Jami Taylor and Ethany coming out of their room several times in the late evening (when they’re supposed to be a asleep), to tattle on siblings when it was completely unnecessary.
Parents have a difficult job, just from the duty of providing and caring for the physical needs of a child. With each new life comes an unlimited string of variables no one can predict, from personality traits to when the dog might be shaved bald and painted an off pink. Now compound that stress level by having the responsibility of providing their emotional, mental and spiritual needs as well. This is no easy task.
The main catch 22 of the parenting equation, however, is the job itself.
You see, while you have your offspring under a microscope, they have one firmly fixed on you as well.
Babies are MEANT to be cute, so you totally forget what they'll be like once they're teenagers...
As young children grow into teenagers and momentarily become retarded by the ‘I know more than you could possibly understand’ gene, they fail to realize that we as parents are plagued by a no win situation. We are trying to teach and guide while trying to learn and grow ourselves. This also means we, as the parents make mistakes and errors in our judgment as we try to perfect our job.
Heaven forbid! Mistakes you say? Aye, mistakes.
Yet children, whether it be from a genetic predisposition or simple youth prejudice, rarely give us the benefit of the doubt (or leeway) they openly and boldly demand (or hope) we give them. We have the double burden of trying to teach our kids while being examples worthy of emulation, while they scrape our tired, spent bodies across their unyielding microscope looking for flaws.
When my oldest children approached me not long ago and asked why I didn’t treat them the same way I do their little siblings, all I could do was shrug my shoulders and give them hugs.
“I didn’t know how to do that when you were little. I’m sorry.”
It’s actually a profound revelation for teenagers if you can sit them down to have arational talk on this subject, but for those who simply have a house full of hormone dominant teenagers who can only see their one point of view, take heart. You’re far from alone.
It happens to every single parent on planet Earth.
Welcome to the club.
Read MoreMy Latest Book
