Walking in Faith

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Aug 10, 2010 in Jaime Journal | 0 comments

Kathilynn and I went to look at another home tonight, which doesn’t look like it will pan out.  That’s perfectly ok.  I know people are looking for the best in renters…not saying we’re bad, but with the past year we don’t have the credit or history most landlords are looking for.  So it does begin to wear on you after a couple dozen attempts with no luck and the timer about to buzz.

So my sweetheart and I decided to focus on the positives and go get our grandson James a book for his second birthday.  We take the car to Barnes and Noble and during the drive, feelings came out.  Stress, concern, anxiety and a growing measure of fear in not knowing whats going to happen to our family yet again, with no place to move to.

I have to admit that I’m feeling calm in comparison to Kathi this time, knowing that if there are wonderful people like Marvin, Sam and Ila Wight out there, there has to be someone else who would rent to a good, loving family…right? Of course.  Even if you cannot see it right away.

Suddenly there’s a laugh from Kathi and then a choke and a tear.  She says she heard something remarkable in Church on Sunday.  A dear sister we have deep respect for, who said she felt it a great honor to have the challenges of life placed upon her.

I had to chew a little on that.  Never heard ‘honor’ brought into such a conversation. Grateful yes, humbled maybe, but not honored.  It pierced my heart and then Kathi explained.

“She bore testimony of a voice which told her each and every trial, every pain,…every grand canyon trench of sorrow or suffering she experienced in her life was to prepare her for the joy God wanted to bless her with.”

I must have looked slightly confused for a moment, because she softly placed her hand on my arm.

“Think about it.  Those experiences, as painful as they may be, gouge us deeply, to be filled with joy…something we could not experience if our trials were shallow.  The blessings would roll off the flat surface.”

I don’t know about you, but it gave me a new found respect and I dare say feeling of honor, that God would permit me to suffer so that I may obtain a deeper degree of joy, humility, meekness and peace. Yes, what an honor…to learn how to walk in greater faith.

Happy Birthday Simon!

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Aug 6, 2010 in Simon Says | 0 comments

My awesome 3 year old who has delighted people everywhere with his wit and storytelling turned 4 today.

His oldest sister called him to wish a Happy Birthday and ask him what he wanted:

“A cake. Presents. …uhhh, and a Christmas tree.”

While adventuring out in the backyard as Super Simon the Four Year Old…he came to the conclusion that he is NOT in fact immune to angry wasps, which pursued and bit him repeatedly over the face.

So what was the plan? Retreat tot he house and watch Return of the King with Dad.

FACT: Simon is the only child I have ever met who can interject a dragon into any conversation and have it seem as natural as breathing. A storyteller at heart, he still lugs around his favorite ‘binky’ and sucks on a plug at any sign of distress.

We are currently getting up the nerve to hunt down and slay the dragon-wasp that attacked him, and in his own words…was trying to kill him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON!
Daddy loves you with all his heart.

You WILL Survive…

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Aug 4, 2010 in Jaime Journal | 1 comment

To my friend somewhere out there,

When I awoke this morning, there was an odd feeling in my chest. The kind I get when someone near is in trouble.  Stress, life, not necessarily danger, but perhaps a serious challenge being faced by someone caught unaware…and my heart aches.

I couldn’t figure it out, so I thought it might be helpful to go with this feeling and reach out through my blog.  Hopefully you will see this and find some measure of comfort.

If you believe one thing only, trust in this:

You’re going to be ok.

I may not know who you are or what you’re going through, but I feel this surge of emotion to tell you that you WILL survive the events of your life.

Sometimes life gives us moments of bliss, moments of rest and a change to take a deep breath, only to plunge us into a deeper challenge. Many times you cannot see the light or the other side of that chasm, and we take it personally.

It’s not because you’re being picked on.  It’s because you are fortunate enough to have the notice of the Universe.  It’s because YOU MATTER.  You are one of those unique people given the opportunity to learn and grow and become something much more than you are right now.

Oh it doesn’t feel that way during the journey, but that usually because our perspective is skewed.  It’s our nature to focus on a result, rather than the event.  The goal, rather than the path traveled to achieve that goal.

Here’s something else.  You are a completely unique soul.  God doesn’t make mistakes, nor does he trifle with the ‘ordinary’.

Without you, something great, something magnificent and breathtaking will be lost to the world…and life would be a darker place because it doesn’t have you in it.

…only you know what that will be.

This I know: if God has placed challenges in front of you because He feels you can meet those challenges…even if you might not feel that way right now, my money is on you.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Ever.

Accept the challenge. Embrace it. Stand your ground and choose to walk the walk and I promise you the most amazing life a person can live.

You WILL survive.

God Bless.

Love Notes

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Jul 28, 2010 in Personal | 5 comments

My beloved Kathilynn,

It’s been twenty years now since God had mercy on me and showed me how much I was loved, forever changing the path I would walk the rest of my days.  I still remember the moment my eyes rested upon you.  That first smile that still makes my heart race.  The amazing smile that makes the butterflies stir.

I still have a crush on you.

Thank you for being the love of my life.

Twenty years has taught me something about us: I have always known you. I have always loved you.  My heart was reaching out, calling out to you until your heart heard the cry and echoed back.  It’s so easy to love you, Kathilynn.  To adore you.  It’s as natural as the beat of my heart.

You are an inspiration and example of what’s best in life and humanity, and when I look at our amazing children my heart cries to the heavens in gratitude for the incredible companion I have, because my love, the best in them is the best from you.

Your laugh brightens my soul, your smile brightens my world and when you look at me, I know I am loved.  I can feel it and it always amazes me how you can do that without saying a word.  What we have is rare, admired and envied by many because it is based on a foundation stronger than either of us.

I look forward to the next twenty years together, growing old together and to build our dreams together. I know we can do it, because you are my personal confirmation that dreams do come true.

You are my love, my inspiration and my best friend.
Thank you for simply being you.

I love you always and forever,

Your Jester.

Australian Family

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Jul 24, 2010 in Jaime Journal | 0 comments

The last few days have been some of the most trying and the most miraculous.  One of my dear friends was buried yesterday and the world is a lesser place because he isn’t here anymore to give his light to me.  I miss him already.  I looked over my computers, all with backup systems and external hard drives…and found that by some wild error and misfortune, I lost 7 years of my Wanted Hero.  My personal life’s work.  It was devastating.  but the day wasn’t over.

Kathilynn called me minutes after my discovery of loss at work and told me her mother had just suffered a heart attack.

It’s been a long and trying week, but it has slowly worked itself out, while also providing some equally remarkable experiences in the positive.  The greatest of which was meeting, in my opinion, members of my family from the other side of the globe.

Rarely in my life have I ever met people with such solid, defining character that I instantly admire, support and love.  While attending the Crocodiles International Mastery Program i was allowed to rub shoulders with five of the finest people from Australia.  They knew the power of the Crocodile program from their dynamic leader, Mic, who had met Roger Anthony nearly 20 years ago.  A meeting that changed his life…and he wanted to share that experience with those he worked with.

Last night my daughter Leilani got to know our new friends more intimately at dinner and the feelings, relations and a bonding I simply cannot explain occurred.  On the ride home, Leilani and I agreed on one major point: our hearts ached knowing they would soon be returning to Australia.

The most shocking part of the conversation was when my little Irish sister Rosie finally heard my last name.  Her family has “Buckleys” and Chris said there is a common phrase in Australia, called a ‘Buckley’ (“Not a chance.”).  Rosie’s sweetheart Adam is one of the most noble spirits I have ever met, with a mind to boggle minds.  Mic has a charisma few could match with a bright and supportive countenance. Brandon is a cool, calm thinker with few words but quick support and response.

I know this sounds like bragging…because that’s precisely what it is.  These are amazing people and everyone who mingled with them felt honored.  I was privileged to make the most remarkable friends over the last few days, with experiences I will cherish for the rest of my life.  I am excited to know that this is only the beginning and that we will be working together from this moment forward in bringing Crocodiles to the world.

Mic (hope I spelled that right mate), Brandon, Chris, Adam and sweet Rosie…Leilani and I already miss you.  Our fondest wishes, hopes and support go with you.  We hope you will never be strangers or hesitate to call upon us…as well as allow us to visit you on your native soil sooner rather than later.

With all our love and admiration,
The Buckley’s.

Dont Worry, Be Happy.

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Jul 23, 2010 in Point of View | 0 comments

Life has many anomaly moments.  In fact , I can almost guarantee you the experience of diametrically opposed perceptions and results.  In my own life it seems to be a rule however, not an exception.

Focus on another, or just others and give it all you have. Your time, resources, effort, attention, money, name it…and I can almost guarantee you the moment you stop and let your bow string off and shift any attention to yourself to keep from exploding, you’ll reap a whirlwind of criticism.  It might not even be what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it, but how.  You might dodge the how and get slammed with the when.  For me it’s usually the timing of the whole matter.

You can unwind, but only when it’s convenient for others.

Mothers get hit frequently with that one.  You serve the children, care for every need of the family and yet when you want or desperately need a break–just a simple moment to take a breath, you’re criticized or even worse…expected to be the most enduring, the strongest, the one without needs.

Wow.

I’m here to say don’t worry, be happy.

Let it all go by you and know that there are times when you can do all you can for others and you’ll be presented with a choice to take a break–to let the pressure out of the steam cooker or snap.  Most of us have moments like that and it’s rare that those around you will completely see or relate to what your going through, but they WILL do their best to compare you to their own priority or value system.

There’s not a lot you can do about that, other than love them, take your slap on the wrist and then take your moment anyway.

This isn’t always about being selfish.  Many times it’s about self-preservation and if you’ll stop and think about this, you’ll see that self-preservation is in fact THE #1 priority of the UNIVERSE.  So you’re in good company here.

It doesn’t do any good to get mad about it.  It also means you don’t stop being of service to others…just do the best you can and know none of us are perfect.  Sometimes people will get it, and that’s always nice when they do…but if they don’t, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to explain it.  We all need to take those moments to keep from cracking and we all do it in different ways.  Chances are you’ll take your moment in the wrong way, at the wrong time, and maybe even looked upon as having the wrong priorities.  That’s ok.  We all make mistakes and I would rather apologize for having to disengage my mind and heart in self-preservation than to meet someone else’s definition of what I should be doing and end up going postal on them.

I’m not saying I’m right on this…I’m only saying that’s how I see it at this point.

Don’t Say a Thing…

Posted by Jaime Buckley on Jul 19, 2010 in Jaime Journal | 2 comments

One of my dear friends passed away a couple days ago.  Memories start flooding back and I get the same apprehension about funerals.

I hate them and I really don’t want to go.

Even avoided my best friends funeral when I was 16. First one I attended was a dear friend who lost his 8 year old boy.  Couldn’t stand the thought of loosing my own son and something snapped…and I was unable to let him go through the experience without support.

…but when mom died, I learned something.

Don’t say a word.

Go to the funeral, but don’t say a damn word. Nothing you say will make it better and you cannot, DARE NOT compare your feelings or understanding with the sufferings of others! DON’T DO IT!!

If you want to have the strongest effect of support, walk up to the grieving parties, show your tears openly, shake a hand, squeeze a shoulder and if you have to: nod.

Just keep your mouth shut and I can almost guarantee you’ll be the one who leaves the greatest impact for good in the life of another.

The talking will come later…just cry with them in silence for now.

Please trust me on this one.