The Sunday previous, I had spent some personal time with my little son Simon. He’s a brilliant boy and I wanted to tell him a great story with strong visuals to help him remember–which ended up being about Jonah, the Whale and Nineveh. He listened with great intensity as I described the wickedness of the city people, and also why the big fish swallowed the Prophet.  I knew he would remember the story, but not the concepts behind it.

I was wrong.

While our home had adults wading too and fro, bailing water, trying to save what furniture was left and personal belongings,  little Simon was slowly walking through the muddy water, tears in his eyes, looking to the left, then to the right.

When his mother put her arms around him, she asked if he was ok.

“No mom.  Look.” he pouted, pointing around him at the muddy water.  “Heavenly Father is mad at us.  We have been bad mom.  Very, very bad.  We need to be the good guys!”

Though he eventually learned that sometimes negative things happen for a good reason (I explained the big fish was there to take Jonah to Nineveh to do his initial job, and during our flood damage control, we received word that we had been accepted for a new place to live.), it helped me see that the personal time we spent with our little ones, instructing them and sharing is never in vain.

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A point in your life when patience has been used up, long-suffering endured and yet the abuse continues, challenges never cease and the pressure never abates.  Thoughtfulness, manners and respect are quickly becoming myths in our society and when the soft spoken word is ignored, another option should be utilized.

Eat and Fight.

The instant interpretation might be violence, but that’s not what I’m referring to.  I’m referring to a focus of mind and purpose of heart.  I’m talking about a determination to do what is right, because it is right, regardless of the opposition, mockery or lack of intelligence, manners or class of another.  It’s about taking a counter-offense to the situations of life and ‘bridging’ your efforts (starting with a finishing move).  In short, it’s about putting the monkey when the flippin monkey belongs for a change and standing your ground!  Allowing the natural consequences to follow the path of choice.

What would that do for you, for your family and for society if we allowed the natural consequences to follow?

No bailouts, no refunding bad ideas, no turning to the morons that caused the problems to fix the problems…and allowing those who are willing to take the risks, take the initiative and take the responsibility step into their own.

Think about it on a smaller scale.

Now is the time to think big, act big and to take the initiative when it comes to our lives.  You’re not doing anyone any good thinking small, I can assure you.

Change your surroundings, change your community, change the world.

You have the brains, you have the talent and God has placed the tools in front of you.  Open your eyes and make a real, foundational difference in life.  No one gives a damn when you whine.  In fact, more companies and even social environments/organizations are finally realizing that it’s far easier and intelligent to change the squeaky wheel instead of giving it grease.

Take the time to understand that you are living in a world where YOU MUST BE PRO-ACTIVE.

Act or be acted upon.
Eat and fight.

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Translation: the internet is growing at an exponential rate, transcending countries, economic climates and social boundaries.

Chances are, you also know at least one interesting fact about Social Networks.

Let me give you three**:

1. 72% of internet users are members of at least two social networks on average.
2. 72% of the internet population is ACTIVE in at least 1 social network.
3. People lack trust in their social network site. Even though Facebook is the most popular social network today, 1 in 3 members have little trust in it.

Translation: Social Networks are here to stay, have become the new form of global communication, but the system isn’t quite right yet.

New social networks pop up weekly, mainly in niche markets, attempting to create connections between users and provide a level of experience to not only get users to stay, but to spread the word.  Yet what I keep wondering is, what’s wrong with the overall picture?

Are the networks truly providing the needs of the users?  Are companies listening to the desires and suggestions of their members?  Are the systems pro-active in creating the connections people are searching for…or just connecting live to their email address book?

I love social networks personally and not only see the vital role they CAN play in business and social settings/organizations, but I think they’re flat out fun in making new friends and engaging in dynamic conversations.  That is, after I sift through the first 116 comments on what people had for breakfast or their gross Saturday night (incriminating) party pictures.  So I started asking what people wanted in a social network.  The answers didn’t surprise me, nor were they unique:

• chat rooms
• better security
• better connection options
• privacy, privacy, privacy

Only the last one made me laugh, though I do understand the intent.  We want to have more control over the TYPE of information displayed…simply because we are not willing to control ourselves and simply use better judgment in our posting habits.

The Solution to Social Networking

There has also been talk about social networking saturation.  People unwilling to leave their current accounts and most likely join another.  That didn’t make any sense to me, except for leaving a current network and here’s why: If you use any product or service that doesn’t work, what do you usually do?  You may be determined to fix it, tweak it, find another use for it, or set it aside…but if you have a certain need that is not being fulfilled, you go find the solution to fill that need.  That means if there was an actual solution that not only filled the gaps, but provided superior quality and effectiveness, more than likely you would consider an alternative.  That holds true in the homes we live in, the cars we drive, the jobs we seek after, the medical care we require…so why not social networks?

Your Part in Social Networking History

An International company, built around cooperation, collaboration and community for the last 33 years gathered the top minds behind the building of these social networks.  Talent behind hosting companies, trade companies and some of the top internet entities around the world to address this challenge.  They worked and developed unique systems never before utilized in Social Networking and a proprietary method of making connections between individuals and entities.  Yet their best idea was simple:

Include and engage the public in it’s development, so they get what they want.

Sound interesting?  Want to make history?  Here’s your opportunity.  The BIG Lagoon is allowing pre-sign ups to their free social network soon to launch.  From this list, they will choose Think Tanks and Beta Testers.  These will be the ones who will shape the very future of Social Networks, testing a unique system of pro-active connection that will redefine the industry.  Seats are limited, but the opportunities are not.

Wallflowers need not apply.

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Understand that I have some strong old time values, and I try very hard to think them through and have a principle based reason for them.  I raise my family and protect my family by them.  They are not negotiable.  I don’t force them upon anyone…but I do hold them up and require others to abide my them if they socialize with us.

The issue is communication between the opposite sex. It’s become casual in society, especially with technology, where you can have private conversations in an instant. Say anything, share anything, and mom and dad don’t have to know a thing. Text, text, text, phone calls, instant messaging, Facebook private messages and so on…

Well, as a father and husband, relationships are very sacred things to me.  Emotions are to be shared with certain people IMO and my associations are not taken lightly or casually.  This goes double for my kids.  I tell my children not to take their friendships casually.  I have great and lasting honor for my friends.  Text and private time with the opposite sex doesn’t make sense to me, unless you’re courting (notice I don’t use the word “date”).  Why do you need it when nothing and I repeat, NOTHING good can come of it, other than opportunities for bad things to happen?

So my counsel was this: I strongly encourage my sisters NOT to talk to men, respond to texts or have phone conversations casually.  Why?  Well, first off because there’s no need to associate with a man privately when you can have all the polite conversation and social engagement in a general setting with others around.  If you argue that point with me, my question is simple: what is your intent? Why do you NEED to have ‘private time’ with the opposite sex if there’s ‘nothing going on’?

Secondly, just because you have the technology to have a conversation and get around the father/big brother barriers with the click of a button, doesn’t mean you should.  If this were 100 years ago, would the father of that lovely girl want you to casually grab her arm and skirt her off to a side room to talk privately?

Not likely.

I wish our society had better standards.  I’m not going to hold my breath.

However, I will stand by the standard that a male who tries to get around the moral structures of a family openly challenges the protective powers that be.  In layman’s terms, ‘yer asking ta get a whoopin bucko.’

It’s the standard I require of guys who show up on my doorstep, and the same standard I drill into my sons. So argue with me if you like, but I would wager your father and mother, whether they agree with me or not, would appreciate a man with honor and respect knocking on their door, rather than the alternative.

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So my sweetheart and I decided to focus on the positives and go get our grandson James a book for his second birthday.  We take the car to Barnes and Noble and during the drive, feelings came out.  Stress, concern, anxiety and a growing measure of fear in not knowing whats going to happen to our family yet again, with no place to move to.

I have to admit that I’m feeling calm in comparison to Kathi this time, knowing that if there are wonderful people like Marvin, Sam and Ila Wight out there, there has to be someone else who would rent to a good, loving family…right? Of course.  Even if you cannot see it right away.

Suddenly there’s a laugh from Kathi and then a choke and a tear.  She says she heard something remarkable in Church on Sunday.  A dear sister we have deep respect for, who said she felt it a great honor to have the challenges of life placed upon her.

I had to chew a little on that.  Never heard ‘honor’ brought into such a conversation. Grateful yes, humbled maybe, but not honored.  It pierced my heart and then Kathi explained.

“She bore testimony of a voice which told her each and every trial, every pain,…every grand canyon trench of sorrow or suffering she experienced in her life was to prepare her for the joy God wanted to bless her with.”

I must have looked slightly confused for a moment, because she softly placed her hand on my arm.

“Think about it.  Those experiences, as painful as they may be, gouge us deeply, to be filled with joy…something we could not experience if our trials were shallow.  The blessings would roll off the flat surface.”

I don’t know about you, but it gave me a new found respect and I dare say feeling of honor, that God would permit me to suffer so that I may obtain a deeper degree of joy, humility, meekness and peace. Yes, what an honor…to learn how to walk in greater faith.

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His oldest sister called him to wish a Happy Birthday and ask him what he wanted:

“A cake. Presents. …uhhh, and a Christmas tree.”

While adventuring out in the backyard as Super Simon the Four Year Old…he came to the conclusion that he is NOT in fact immune to angry wasps, which pursued and bit him repeatedly over the face.

So what was the plan? Retreat tot he house and watch Return of the King with Dad.

FACT: Simon is the only child I have ever met who can interject a dragon into any conversation and have it seem as natural as breathing. A storyteller at heart, he still lugs around his favorite ‘binky’ and sucks on a plug at any sign of distress.

We are currently getting up the nerve to hunt down and slay the dragon-wasp that attacked him, and in his own words…was trying to kill him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON!
Daddy loves you with all his heart.

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When I awoke this morning, there was an odd feeling in my chest. The kind I get when someone near is in trouble.  Stress, life, not necessarily danger, but perhaps a serious challenge being faced by someone caught unaware…and my heart aches.

I couldn’t figure it out, so I thought it might be helpful to go with this feeling and reach out through my blog.  Hopefully you will see this and find some measure of comfort.

If you believe one thing only, trust in this:

You’re going to be ok.

I may not know who you are or what you’re going through, but I feel this surge of emotion to tell you that you WILL survive the events of your life.

Sometimes life gives us moments of bliss, moments of rest and a change to take a deep breath, only to plunge us into a deeper challenge. Many times you cannot see the light or the other side of that chasm, and we take it personally.

It’s not because you’re being picked on.  It’s because you are fortunate enough to have the notice of the Universe.  It’s because YOU MATTER.  You are one of those unique people given the opportunity to learn and grow and become something much more than you are right now.

Oh it doesn’t feel that way during the journey, but that usually because our perspective is skewed.  It’s our nature to focus on a result, rather than the event.  The goal, rather than the path traveled to achieve that goal.

Here’s something else.  You are a completely unique soul.  God doesn’t make mistakes, nor does he trifle with the ‘ordinary’.

Without you, something great, something magnificent and breathtaking will be lost to the world…and life would be a darker place because it doesn’t have you in it.

…only you know what that will be.

This I know: if God has placed challenges in front of you because He feels you can meet those challenges…even if you might not feel that way right now, my money is on you.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. Ever.

Accept the challenge. Embrace it. Stand your ground and choose to walk the walk and I promise you the most amazing life a person can live.

You WILL survive.

God Bless.

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It’s been twenty years now since God had mercy on me and showed me how much I was loved, forever changing the path I would walk the rest of my days.  I still remember the moment my eyes rested upon you.  That first smile that sill makes my heart race.  The amazing smile that makes the butterflies stir.

I still have a crush on you.

Thank you for being the love of my life.

Twenty years has taught me something about us: I have always known you. I have always loved you.  My heart was reaching out, calling out to you until your heart heard the cry and echoed back.  It’s so easy to love you, Kathilynn.  To adore you.  It’s as natural as the beat of my heart.

You are an inspiration and example of what’s best in life and humanity, and when I look at our amazing children my heart cries to the heavens in gratitude for the incredible companion I have, because my love, the best in them is the best from you.

Your laugh brightens my soul, your smile brightens my world and when you look at me, I know I am loved.  I can feel it and it always amazes me how you can do that without saying a word.  What we have is rare, admired and envied by many because it is based on a foundation stronger than either of us.

I look forward to the next twenty years together, growing old together and to build our dreams together. I know we can do it, because you are my personal confirmation that dreams do come true.

You are my love, my inspiration and my best friend.
Thank you for simply being you.

I love you always and forever,

Your Jester.

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Kathilynn called me minutes after my discovery of loss at work and told me her mother had just suffered a heart attack.

It’s been a long and trying week, but it has slowly worked itself out, while also providing some equally remarkable experiences in the positive.  The greatest of which was meeting, in my opinion, members of my family from the other side of the globe.

Rarely in my life have I ever met people with such solid, defining character that I instantly admire, support and love.  While attending the Crocodiles International Mastery Program i was allowed to rub shoulders with five of the finest people from Australia.  They knew the power of the Crocodile program from their dynamic leader, Mic, who had met Roger Anthony nearly 20 years ago.  A meeting that changed his life…and he wanted to share that experience with those he worked with.

Last night my daughter Leilani got to know our new friends more intimately at dinner and the feelings, relations and a bonding I simply cannot explain occurred.  On the ride home, Leilani and I agreed on one major point: our hearts ached knowing they would soon be returning to Australia.

The most shocking part of the conversation was when my little Irish sister Rosie finally heard my last name.  Her family has “Buckleys” and Chris said there is a common phrase in Australia, called a ‘Buckley’ (“Not a chance.”).  Rosie’s sweetheart Adam is one of the most noble spirits I have ever met, with a mind to boggle minds.  Mic has a charisma few could match with a bright and supportive countenance. Brandon is a cool, calm thinker with few words but quick support and response.

I know this sounds like bragging…because that’s precisely what it is.  These are amazing people and everyone who mingled with them felt honored.  I was privileged to make the most remarkable friends over the last few days, with experiences I will cherish for the rest of my life.  I am excited to know that this is only the beginning and that we will be working together from this moment forward in bringing Crocodiles to the world.

Mic (hope I spelled that right mate), Brandon, Chris, Adam and sweet Rosie…Leilani and I already miss you.  Our fondest wishes, hopes and support go with you.  We hope you will never be strangers or hesitate to call upon us…as well as allow us to visit you on your native soil sooner rather than later.

With all our love and admiration,
The Buckley’s.

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Focus on another, or just others and give it all you have. Your time, resources, effort, attention, money, name it…and I can almost guarantee you the moment you stop and let your bow string off and shift any attention to yourself to keep from exploding, you’ll reap a whirlwind of criticism.  It might not even be what you’re doing, or why you’re doing it, but how.  You might dodge the how and get slammed with the when.  For me it’s usually the timing of the whole matter.

You can unwind, but only when it’s convenient for others.

Mothers get hit frequently with that one.  You serve the children, care for every need of the family and yet when you want or desperately need a break–just a simple moment to take a breath, you’re criticized or even worse…expected to be the most enduring, the strongest, the one without needs.

Wow.

I’m here to say don’t worry, be happy.

Let it all go by you and know that there are times when you can do all you can for others and you’ll be presented with a choice to take a break–to let the pressure out of the steam cooker or snap.  Most of us have moments like that and it’s rare that those around you will completely see or relate to what your going through, but they WILL do their best to compare you to their own priority or value system.

There’s not a lot you can do about that, other than love them, take your slap on the wrist and then take your moment anyway.

This isn’t always about being selfish.  Many times it’s about self-preservation and if you’ll stop and think about this, you’ll see that self-preservation is in fact THE #1 priority of the UNIVERSE.  So you’re in good company here.

It doesn’t do any good to get mad about it.  It also means you don’t stop being of service to others…just do the best you can and know none of us are perfect.  Sometimes people will get it, and that’s always nice when they do…but if they don’t, it’s unlikely you’ll be able to explain it.  We all need to take those moments to keep from cracking and we all do it in different ways.  Chances are you’ll take your moment in the wrong way, at the wrong time, and maybe even looked upon as having the wrong priorities.  That’s ok.  We all make mistakes and I would rather apologize for having to disengage my mind and heart in self-preservation than to meet someone else’s definition of what I should be doing and end up going postal on them.

I’m not saying I’m right on this…I’m only saying that’s how I see it at this point.

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