The Sunday previous, I had spent some personal time with my little son Simon. He’s a brilliant boy and I wanted to tell him a great story with strong visuals to help him remember–which ended up being about Jonah, the Whale and Nineveh. He listened with great intensity as I described the wickedness of the city people, and also why the big fish swallowed the Prophet.  I knew he would remember the story, but not the concepts behind it.

I was wrong.

While our home had adults wading too and fro, bailing water, trying to save what furniture was left and personal belongings,  little Simon was slowly walking through the muddy water, tears in his eyes, looking to the left, then to the right.

When his mother put her arms around him, she asked if he was ok.

“No mom.  Look.” he pouted, pointing around him at the muddy water.  “Heavenly Father is mad at us.  We have been bad mom.  Very, very bad.  We need to be the good guys!”

Though he eventually learned that sometimes negative things happen for a good reason (I explained the big fish was there to take Jonah to Nineveh to do his initial job, and during our flood damage control, we received word that we had been accepted for a new place to live.), it helped me see that the personal time we spent with our little ones, instructing them and sharing is never in vain.

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Understand that I have some strong old time values, and I try very hard to think them through and have a principle based reason for them.  I raise my family and protect my family by them.  They are not negotiable.  I don’t force them upon anyone…but I do hold them up and require others to abide my them if they socialize with us.

The issue is communication between the opposite sex. It’s become casual in society, especially with technology, where you can have private conversations in an instant. Say anything, share anything, and mom and dad don’t have to know a thing. Text, text, text, phone calls, instant messaging, Facebook private messages and so on…

Well, as a father and husband, relationships are very sacred things to me.  Emotions are to be shared with certain people IMO and my associations are not taken lightly or casually.  This goes double for my kids.  I tell my children not to take their friendships casually.  I have great and lasting honor for my friends.  Text and private time with the opposite sex doesn’t make sense to me, unless you’re courting (notice I don’t use the word “date”).  Why do you need it when nothing and I repeat, NOTHING good can come of it, other than opportunities for bad things to happen?

So my counsel was this: I strongly encourage my sisters NOT to talk to men, respond to texts or have phone conversations casually.  Why?  Well, first off because there’s no need to associate with a man privately when you can have all the polite conversation and social engagement in a general setting with others around.  If you argue that point with me, my question is simple: what is your intent? Why do you NEED to have ‘private time’ with the opposite sex if there’s ‘nothing going on’?

Secondly, just because you have the technology to have a conversation and get around the father/big brother barriers with the click of a button, doesn’t mean you should.  If this were 100 years ago, would the father of that lovely girl want you to casually grab her arm and skirt her off to a side room to talk privately?

Not likely.

I wish our society had better standards.  I’m not going to hold my breath.

However, I will stand by the standard that a male who tries to get around the moral structures of a family openly challenges the protective powers that be.  In layman’s terms, ‘yer asking ta get a whoopin bucko.’

It’s the standard I require of guys who show up on my doorstep, and the same standard I drill into my sons. So argue with me if you like, but I would wager your father and mother, whether they agree with me or not, would appreciate a man with honor and respect knocking on their door, rather than the alternative.

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His oldest sister called him to wish a Happy Birthday and ask him what he wanted:

“A cake. Presents. …uhhh, and a Christmas tree.”

While adventuring out in the backyard as Super Simon the Four Year Old…he came to the conclusion that he is NOT in fact immune to angry wasps, which pursued and bit him repeatedly over the face.

So what was the plan? Retreat tot he house and watch Return of the King with Dad.

FACT: Simon is the only child I have ever met who can interject a dragon into any conversation and have it seem as natural as breathing. A storyteller at heart, he still lugs around his favorite ‘binky’ and sucks on a plug at any sign of distress.

We are currently getting up the nerve to hunt down and slay the dragon-wasp that attacked him, and in his own words…was trying to kill him.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIMON!
Daddy loves you with all his heart.

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It’s been twenty years now since God had mercy on me and showed me how much I was loved, forever changing the path I would walk the rest of my days.  I still remember the moment my eyes rested upon you.  That first smile that sill makes my heart race.  The amazing smile that makes the butterflies stir.

I still have a crush on you.

Thank you for being the love of my life.

Twenty years has taught me something about us: I have always known you. I have always loved you.  My heart was reaching out, calling out to you until your heart heard the cry and echoed back.  It’s so easy to love you, Kathilynn.  To adore you.  It’s as natural as the beat of my heart.

You are an inspiration and example of what’s best in life and humanity, and when I look at our amazing children my heart cries to the heavens in gratitude for the incredible companion I have, because my love, the best in them is the best from you.

Your laugh brightens my soul, your smile brightens my world and when you look at me, I know I am loved.  I can feel it and it always amazes me how you can do that without saying a word.  What we have is rare, admired and envied by many because it is based on a foundation stronger than either of us.

I look forward to the next twenty years together, growing old together and to build our dreams together. I know we can do it, because you are my personal confirmation that dreams do come true.

You are my love, my inspiration and my best friend.
Thank you for simply being you.

I love you always and forever,

Your Jester.

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I get home awfully late and you know what i get as the very first thing when i walk into the room?

The most wonderful, soft, loving smile from my wife.

I’m talking the kind that whispers “hello my beloved, I have missed you and I’m SO glad you’re home”.

I love how Kathi can do that to me.

It screeches on my emotional brakes if I’m in a bad mood, and flips my whole day around.  It literally makes my day worth it when I see my girl smile at me.

Seriously, how the crud does she do it?  More than 20 years now and it still makes me stop in my tracks and wonder how I got so lucky…and so blessed.

Hope you boys are as lucky as I am.

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Head shaving?  OH yeah.  It was the coolest, heart warming thing I’ve been involved in for a looong time.

My grandson, only 4 years old, has Leukemia.  He is the most brave child I have met and we all love him dearly.  When he learned his hair would eventually fall out, his magnificent father smiled at him and said that when that day came, he would shave his head too.

Well, there were a few of us who felt the same way…and his hair fell out right before the reception.  So my daughter encouraged our family to include this act of support into her own personal moment with her new husband, who agreed.

So we did the eating, we did the playing and we did the traditional stuff…and then we opened the mic and made the announcement as we rolled out the sheets, hooked up the sheers to the extension cords and brought my grandson to the center ring with his father.

What happened made me cry and then cheer.  My grandson shaved his fathers hair off…and found a near endless stream of others wanting to express their love and support by submitting themselves to the buzzer.

How appropriate that by daughters new last name just happens to be “Barber”.

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Without a cooler, high temperatures outside and a stove constantly on will eventually melt the coldest of hearts! Even nibbling on each of the 5 trillion brownies and cookies being made does not ease the discomfort.

I have to say I’m grateful to see the love these children have for their older sister.  That’s what all the treats are being made for: the reception.

A truck load of Root Beer and Strawberry Lemonade, a Gazzilion sweets made by hand to feed thousands of family and friends and the Lava-Lava’s that Grandpa bought…and no one has told the groom he’s expected to wear (this is gonna be fun).

All in all, this family has always been close, but this experience–having my oldest daughter get married, has brought together the children and inspired a level of service I was grateful to see.

If I could have had one wish though, it would have been to buy all the brownies (though they would have tasted like garbage)…OR, that this whole shindig had taken place during winter months!!!

Note to reader: The original title of this post was Brownie Hell, but Kathi was looking over my shoulder as I was writing it. Luckily she does not have the technical skills to change this note (**smirk**)

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He’s talking about all the dragons he’s tamed and how they’ll roll over when he scratches their bellies and if the neighborhood kids call him another bad name, the biggest dragon said he’ll eat them right up.

There’s a pause.

“Dad?”
“Yes Simon?”

…another pause.
“Do you know Jackie Chan?”

I look in the rear view mirror and his eyes are locked on me in a puzzled expression.

“Um,…no. I don’t know Jackie Chan. Why son?”

Simon shrugs his cute little shoulder and looks down at his hands.
“Well Jackie Chan is really cool and you’re cool too so I thought he’s your friend.”

I couldn’t help but give the biggest, goofiest grin in my life. My son just compared me with Jackie Chan…and to him, I was equal in coolness.

Oh the wonderful mind of a child.
Coolness by association.

I bought him a treat at the store. =)

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I know a great many people and I mix with ever-growing circles in society through my work.  During these moments, I get to know the personal side of folks from all over the planet.

The one thing I look for, to see how well we will be able to connect on a personal level, is what they think of children.  It’s key.

It will tell you how they think of the world, how determined they are according to being of service or selfishness and it tells me how committed they are to their fellow human beings.  These are all critical factors in my line of work, and my beloved children have given me the key.

How do you feel about children?

Are they an inconvenience, or do they make your heart sing, your lungs fill with laughter and you mind twist to follow them through the uncharted waters of their imagination?  Do you take advantage of seeing the world again for the very first time and living life from a view free of judgment, cruelty and malice?

Try it sometime, it’s bliss.

Children make everything worthwhile and give my own live extreme value.  They are the motivating factor of my existence and the power that allows me to get up one more time…and to reach for the impossible.

I feel sorry for the selfish and ignorant who choose not to have children.

…for those of you who have been denied children, you’re in my prayers.

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Yet there’s always that moment when the practice and the timing go wrong.

Simon as you know, is the Mr. Incredible of our family.  He was so excited to start potty training and wanted to be like his big brothers, refusing to wear diapers one morning, because ‘he’s big now’.  Well, we learned that his intense concentration when playing can become a huge distraction to the more important body functions we were trying to teach him about.

He was out jumping on the trampoline and chasing the chicken, giggling away when he suddenly froze still.  His eyes looked left and right and then dropped to check the front of his pants.  It a blue blur, he ran across the yard, dashed down the cement steps and into the house, screaming that he needed to pee.

We all chuckled (for he still feels he has to ask permission from someone before he goes) and he throws open the door to the bathroom.  You hear the lid of the toilet thrown back with force, and then a small scream.  Simon comes bolting from the bathroom and runs up to Leilani in the kitchen wide-eyed and red faced, screaming ‘Help! You need to unbutton my pants!’

Kneeling down, my daughter tried to get a grip on the front of her 3 year old jumping bean brother.  But when she finally got a hold of the button, Simon froze, the expression on his face instantly relaxed.

“Ahhhh.” he whispered….as a puddle formed under his feet.

The kid still gets an A- for effort.  We now have a working program to show him how to undo his own button…or we put him in elastic pants (grin).

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