It’s been twenty years now since God had mercy on me and showed me how much I was loved, forever changing the path I would walk the rest of my days.  I still remember the moment my eyes rested upon you.  That first smile that sill makes my heart race.  The amazing smile that makes the butterflies stir.

I still have a crush on you.

Thank you for being the love of my life.

Twenty years has taught me something about us: I have always known you. I have always loved you.  My heart was reaching out, calling out to you until your heart heard the cry and echoed back.  It’s so easy to love you, Kathilynn.  To adore you.  It’s as natural as the beat of my heart.

You are an inspiration and example of what’s best in life and humanity, and when I look at our amazing children my heart cries to the heavens in gratitude for the incredible companion I have, because my love, the best in them is the best from you.

Your laugh brightens my soul, your smile brightens my world and when you look at me, I know I am loved.  I can feel it and it always amazes me how you can do that without saying a word.  What we have is rare, admired and envied by many because it is based on a foundation stronger than either of us.

I look forward to the next twenty years together, growing old together and to build our dreams together. I know we can do it, because you are my personal confirmation that dreams do come true.

You are my love, my inspiration and my best friend.
Thank you for simply being you.

I love you always and forever,

Your Jester.

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I get home awfully late and you know what i get as the very first thing when i walk into the room?

The most wonderful, soft, loving smile from my wife.

I’m talking the kind that whispers “hello my beloved, I have missed you and I’m SO glad you’re home”.

I love how Kathi can do that to me.

It screeches on my emotional brakes if I’m in a bad mood, and flips my whole day around.  It literally makes my day worth it when I see my girl smile at me.

Seriously, how the crud does she do it?  More than 20 years now and it still makes me stop in my tracks and wonder how I got so lucky…and so blessed.

Hope you boys are as lucky as I am.

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I’m a strict parent. I know it’s not a secret and that will not change. Each family member has duties, responsibilities and rules to follow so we can achieve and maintain our happy little home. Doesn’t always work, I know, but you have all seen that it works far more than not. Your mother and I love each other and we love all of you dearly. We base our decisions upon principle, not the popular whims of your friends or their own families, which at times has caused friction between us. The rest of the chaos in our home is based on selfishness. Feelings so important to us that we simply will not listen to another point of view or humble ourselves to be instructed by those with more wisdom and experience.

I’ve tried to show you that most of the worlds problems are from nothing more than a root in selfishness. Think about that one for a spell and see where you come up. Blame world hunger, war, the bad politicians we have in every facet of this government on whatever else you like, but 9 out of 10 times it’s gonna be complete horse crap.

It all eventually comes down to selfishness.

In this family, there is a patriarchal order. You don’t have to agree with that, doesn’t matter in the least because this family is not a democracy. You may elect to establish one in your own family someday, but in this family, everyone has a place and a measure of respect, simply because of who you are. I don’t yell at you or spank you or even ground you. I talk with you and strive to work out the problems between us. I love you. You’re part of our family unit and that means something, from birth to death. It means something to me, your father.

However, in this family you must realize mom is the Queen.

I love each of you children with all my heart. I would die for you and take life for you, but someday each and every one of you are going to leave this home and start families or lives of your own. What will remain is your mother and I. She doesn’t know this, but one of the things I felt when we met so long ago, was an excitement about growing old together. To care for her, protect her and cherish her forever.

I loved her first. I loved her the most. I will love her last.

You don’t understand this yet, but the love I have for your mother cannot be defined. Not without making it sound less than what it truly is. Words truly cannot describe the experiences of growing old together and building dreams together, sharing the pain and suffering, the stress and grief along with untold joy. You must experience it for yourself.

Just know this: I choose her.

If you act in such a way as to divide this house and make me choose, you will lose every time. I am on the side of correct principle. Your mother also lives by principle and is why she holds the respect of so many, including myself. You fight her because of your selfishness, wanting to have your choices supported, regardless of who they may hurt. I caution you not to alienate your greatest defender…because she has kept your butts away from many a swatting over the years.

She is the mercy in our home. I am not. Keep that in mind.

Know that when you step outside the bounds of your place and bring disrespect upon this family and most particularly upon your own mother, you chose to go where I cannot follow. At that point, she no longer stands as your mother. She then becomes my wife and I will defend and protect her from you.

As your father I have many expectations, hopes, desires and requests. However, I have one absolute demand:

Respect and honor your mother. She is Queen of my heart, my home and my family. She is my life, my love and my beloved. God help any person who wounds her heart and gets within my reach.

She brought you into this life, bearing you in pain and anguish. Has raised you in love, caring for you, cooking for you, cleaning your clothes and educating you. She deals with your tantrums, your misconceptions, open rebellions and unrighteous accusations. Yet she bears with you in patience, in love and cares for you regardless, unwilling to leave you to your own design. All these things she does to help you develop and have a good life. Above all, she is your advocate with me, when many times you act in such a way I felt it would be wise to simply make another.

You are free to feel as you wish towards me, but I’m here as your father first, then your friend, not the reverse. I now draw the line at your feet and plead with you not to cross it.

Please, respect and love your mother.

This is non negotiable.

Love,

Your Father.

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Just hearing her voice still puts butterflies in my stomach and a smile on my face. I hung up with a sigh and started thinking how absolutely lucky I happen to be. Well, blessed–I don’t believe in luck. It got me feeling sorry for the men out there who just don’t get it. You know ladies, the ones that just don’t want to listen, or get to know you. They don’t apparently see the value in winning the heart of a ‘real’ woman. Frankly I would call you “perfect”.

Now, anyone can disagree with me…I can’t fix stupid, but I believe that women are naturally better than men. I know, there are exceptions and even I’ve met a few–but on average, women are so magnificent simply due to their fundamental nature. A natural love and affection for others, and when a woman has intelligence, she truly shines.

Kathilynn is my greatest councilor, helping me to see aspects I would normally miss. To be another set of eyes, a softer heart, the mercy to my rough and harsh justice. Yet the greatest beauty I see in most women I know, my wife and our friends…is the ability to ‘see’ with their hearts.

I asked my sweetheart not long ago why she chose me over all the men who adored her. There was no lack in attention, and I was the one without the job, without the social status, without the money, cars…I just scraped by.

She said she could ‘see’ me. Not who I was then and there, but when we were together, she could see and feel what I would become, and she fell in love with that.

If you’re a male and don’t realize the value in that, God help you.

She kissed me and gave me that amazing smile, then leaned in to whisper: “I not only love you…I like you, and if I had the choice before me, I would do this all over again. Bumps and all.”

Wow. A perfect woman gentlemen, is one that can look us up and down, clearly see the baggage we carry…and choose to love us to a higher existence. It doesn’t get better than that.

Let’s live up to the blessings we already have.

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