Survive Subtlety with Simplicity
All of us have ‘low’ moments in our lives. The times when you may feel that all is lost, or perhaps you have failed someone you love or care for deeply. It can be a damning experience if we aren’t careful, because it seems to be human nature to brand ourselves through a clouded filter of life and self-reflection.
Let me use myself as the guinea pig here. I’m married to a wonderful woman and have 11 amazing children, 3 incredible grandchildren and a job most people can only dream of. Yet with all that comes a world of responsibility, a world you have to flow with, be aware of and maintain a level of honor, integrity and in all cases accountability.
Well guess what? I screw up a lot. In so many aspects of life, I find myself unable to stay focused on more than the most narrow of subjects. My memory is constantly taxed in each and every endeavor to the point that I rely on others to remember birthdays, holidays, doctors appointments, meetings and all other social engagements. Heck, I even forgot how old I was….twice, and had to ask my wife for confirmation.
This is a mild version of what my point is, and that is: sometimes we let others down.
No matter how hard we try, there’s not a perfect soul among us and sooner or later we will fall short. That’s when we feel the guilt, the shame and frustration, especially when we are giving our lives everything we have. Personally, I try and reinvent myself every day, to do better today than I did yesterday…but try as I might, sometimes the universe makes me out to be a liar.
That’s when simplicity comes into play. Keeping communications clear and concise. Hold a soft heart and an open mind while standing your ground against life. The trick is to clean that perception filter before you find yourself convinced that all is lost, you’re unfit or unworthy to be loved, appreciated or even tolerated. I’ve been there dozens of times and it’s all a lie.
The subtle effects of your environment can cloud your judgment. The key is to fill your heart with love, gratitude and appreciation for others, including yourself. Believe it or not, you’re worth the effort and it can’t rain forever. Hold your ground and wait for a new day while being ready to say ‘I’m sorry’ to those around you.
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The BIG Lagoon
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Don’t you think that reinvention might be a little too drastic, especially every day, when you have so much good that doesn’t need to be discarded for reinvention but instead built upon? I suggest, also while your holding your ground check your priorities and the principles you stand on and if all is sound raise your head to the rain and embrace the storm. These are simple opportunities to test our fortitude and someday when we look back wouldn’t it be great to say that was a great experience just for the sake that you overcame it. What a power trip!
You know Kathi, every time you open your mouth, I remember why I married you.
I agree with you 99% (but only because we are not using the same definition).
To clarify: reinvention doesn’t mean you discard all and start from scratch, but rather start with a clean slate and then build on all that is good, so I was not clear in my definition. Thank you for pointing that out sweetheart.
I like your redefining Kathi, even though Jaime will probably call me out for being a brown-noser
I see myself through my mistakes, and to be able to take the good that I am and replace the bad that I am with more good is something that has dramatically improved my perception of who I am and can become.
Brown-noser.
You know there’s another side to this as well, and that’s making sure we use ourselves and NOT OTHERS to raise the bar. To compare oneself is an impossibility. The differences too great and numerous, so make sure as you’re working on improving yourself you keep the focus on your own achievements. It’s fine to use another person as a reference point to gauge the type of progress your making (principle), but never as a comparison (personality).
Absolutely, my measuring sticks are my mistakes and my achievements, by using both I can distinguish what I like about myself,(my good to build on) and what I don’t like( my bad to replace) just as important is to let yourself be wrong, I always have the hardest time with that one, I love being right, but usually its only a perception of what is right.
Keep in mind that it’s always wise to maintain your ‘mistake quota’.
People find that statement a bit off, but consider the importance of being wrong Karl. We tend to learn more from the mistakes than the successes. We can make clear(er) definitions and come up with solutions when we know whats wrong. It’s also wiser to make the mistakes in a safe environment than on the fly when risks are higher.
Really good point Karl. Thanks.