Don’t Say a Thing…
One of my dear friends passed away a couple days ago. Memories start flooding back and I get the same apprehension about funerals.
I hate them and I really don’t want to go.
Even avoided my best friends funeral when I was 16. First one I attended was a dear friend who lost his 8 year old boy. Couldn’t stand the thought of loosing my own son and something snapped…and I was unable to let him go through the experience without support.
…but when mom died, I learned something.
Don’t say a word.
Go to the funeral, but don’t say a damn word. Nothing you say will make it better and you cannot, DARE NOT compare your feelings or understanding with the sufferings of others! DON’T DO IT!!
If you want to have the strongest effect of support, walk up to the grieving parties, show your tears openly, shake a hand, squeeze a shoulder and if you have to: nod.
Just keep your mouth shut and I can almost guarantee you’ll be the one who leaves the greatest impact for good in the life of another.
The talking will come later…just cry with them in silence for now.
Please trust me on this one.
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The BIG Lagoon
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There are some things in life that don’t need words and our actions will speak unforgettable volumes of friendship, love, support and compassion.
You know, I wish that for some moments in life we could stop time. I mean, there are times we shouldn’t just live through it. Don’t misunderstand me to mean we should die but I think it would be lovely to have the time to adjust without the pressure of life going on. Sometimes the loss of a dear one or the marriage of your daughter just deserves a moment – regardless of how long that moment is.
…….and then life goes on and we can be grateful.
These are the beautiful God given opportunities when we are reminded to value every moment.
I’m still sitting here working, and your comment just had me bawling. It’s because I can so relate to that request.
Do you remember that day, when they brought mom and the baby’s body before us in their coffin, while standing out in the pouring rain with our kids trying to get me in under the canopy?
There was a burning, begging desire screaming out to God for time to stand still. I wanted to reach out and grab each and every memory I could gather of my mother from my heart and go through them one by one, without interruption, without stopping. Somewhere I felt it would cement her presence into my heart forever. It was almost like a shred of impossible hope on the tips of my fingers, balancing precariously. Yet the next moment, someone was making a comment tot he congregation and that feeling, that offering of my heart and soul to the woman who raised me…was lost.
It devastated me. It still hurts sweetheart. I’m glad Cindy, James, Glenna and the Australians aren’t here so I can cry out loud.
Thank you for that thought Kathilynn.
So very much. I love you.