The male idiot.

Posted by Jaime Buckley in ???? | 0 comments

Ever had the experience of walking into a location and the ‘Oh my goodness I’m around artificial intelligence’ beeper goes off? The kind of gut feeling that makes you pray idiots don’t ever breed? I know, that’s harsh…but you can’t tell me you haven’t met someone like that.

If you haven’t, you may be one of them.

I got home at 12:43 am after about 15-16 hours of work and shuffled out the door again with Evan after family scriptures and prayer. Despite the lack of sleep, I was in a good mood. We took uncle Bob’s car and dropped off library materials, then hit the Credit Union.

We waited for it to open and I walked to the male teller. Just a kid of 18. They all look like they’re just out of diapers to me. He smiles and I deposit some checks, then ask for a Cashiers Check. He clickity-clicks the keyboard, smiles again and turns to look at the printer.

Nothing happens.

He clickity-clicks again. Nothing happens.

So he walks across the floor and checks the printer. Pushes some buttons, looks shyly at Jessica, the lovely 18 yr old female teller. Then gives it a small bang with his palm. Nothing. He looks at me embarrassed. “I’m so sorry about this,” he says. I looked at Evan, who was already smiling.

“It’s probably jammed,” I said. “But you won’t be able to fix it buddy, you’re a guy. You need a girl to fix it.”

He gave me with a glazed look as he pulled the trays out and looked all around the machine, tapped more buttons and finally turned sheepishly to Jessica and squeaked, “Um, Jessica–it’s broken.”

This 5′ 3″ girl old who still looks 12, was dashing from place to place, running her booth along with the drive through efficiently. She spun around, sighed, and in one fluid motion pulled out both trays, balanced one on her knee, pulled out the jammed paper (letting it fall to the floor for the yahoo to pick up), slide the trays back into the machine and spun back to her booth with a final push of the start button.

I started laughing.

The kids shoulders dropped a bit as he returned with my Cashiers Check.

“It’s ok buddy,” I said. “Working with all these women, you need to understand their mentality. We look at  woman and say ‘Nice legs, beautiful face, lovely eyes…but when they look at us, they simply glance up and down and think ‘I guess I can work with that’.”

Jessica and the female manager burst out laughing, looking directly at me. I smirked back and said bluntly, “You’re just laughing, because I’m right.” The manager bit her lip, to which I said, “And you know this for a fact because you’re either getting married or have been married.”

She nodded. “Married.”

The whole time my son watched and learned while the whole lesson in female interaction went over this kids head. I don’t believe on the whole that men or women are better or smarter than one another. I just believe that understanding the views of the opposite sex can help us grunts look less like idiots when we really don’t have to. Women usually perfect the art of hiding their shortcomings at an early age.

…I think that’s why they have to vent so much verbally at 2-3am.

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