Even Brothers Have a Use

Posted by Jaime Buckley in Growing Up, Jaimes Journal, Some People's Children! | 2 comments

My brother Christian always had this annoying skill. He could cry at the drop of a hat. Pissed me off. Not that the skill was bad. Pretty cool actually…he just had this huge success rate of getting me blamed for all sorts of crap when we were young. I didn’t have to be in the room, but I’d get a swat later on.

I did however, find a great use for this twisted skill he had. We were young (I believe we were 9 and 7, but not positive) and had moved to a new home. In the garage, dad had all sorts of cleaning liquids. They were flammable. I know, I lit most of them on fire over the years, melting toy cars, plastic army men and making the every popular barbarian torch out of my sisters doll head, stuck on the end of a stick. Christian and I had new bikes which included water bottle attachments. Now I never knew of any friend that actually used their water bottle. At least not for water anyway. You’d be a sissy. It was used to carry contraband, like lighter fluid or gas to start a fire, rotten eggs to squirt on Sissy Hamleton as you raced by at top speed, or any other liquid you wanted to transport without the interference of a parent.

Now, in the city of Diablo, California, the houses were posh. Even by todays standards, this would be a beautiful area and the residents had their own police force patrolling the neighborhoods. Trees were many, lush and perfect for hiding in when a kid didn’t want to be seen. The combination of these facts hit me one afternoon and gave me a brilliant idea.

What would happen if I created the greatest concoction of all time, put it in my water bottle of destruction and then found a way to introduce it to the local police? They were always yelling at the kids to stay off the grass, chasing up from the golf course and bringing us home in the middle of the night because toilet papering a house just wasn’t proper. It was time for some payback. I could take my annoyingly cute and volatile little brother, plant him on the side of the road as a distraction and then introduce my mad scientist concoction to the first cop car willing to stop for the fake tear kid.

I was always quite creative as a child.

So I made a plan…

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