I made sure mom and dad would never notice what I took from the garage. After all, it would take all the fun out of your success in deploying your diabolical plan, only to come home to a belt strap on your butt, right?
I took a little gasoline from the lawnmower, some paint thinner, an egg I had been baking in the ground out back for a month or so and some of moms wood stain. Mixed it up in a soup can. I told Christian what I planned to do with my ‘melt-in-a-bottle’ creation and being the sweet little demon he was, he eagerly joined right in.
Placing the finished concoction into the water bottle of my cool, plastic covered motorcycle bike, we road away to see if cop cars were indeed invulnerable to creative nine year olds.
We found a good corner in our neighborhood, but far enough away so mom and dad wouldn’t stumble upon us if they drove their regular route. The location had enough trees and bushed for me to hide behind and move about without being easily detected. I stashed my bike around the corner within the trees and made sure it was completely invisible. I planted the demon I called my brother on his skateboard just to the right of the corner street sign, which forced any passerby to pull over against the bushes, where I would be hiding. If it went as planned, I could cover the side of a car and get away without notice.
We were in place, armed, and ready for action.
It was a little wait, but as soon as we saw a patrolman, Christian did his thing. What a master of BS emotions he was, tears flowed like rivers down the small cheeks that looked so sweet you got cavities just looking at the little crapper. The cop noticed him as he sank his face into his hands and sobbed, his little frame delicately centered on his massive skateboard, shuddering in despair.
The cop pulled into place, perfectly in front of the bushes where I was hiding and rolled down his window.
“What’s the matter fella?” the cop said.
“I just moved here and I’m lost,” cried Christian, fussing loudly. “Do you know where I live?”
Before the cop responded I went to work, uncapping my water bottle and squirting my eye watering liquid/gel all along the side of his car, completely covering the police insignia’s.
The two talked for a couple minutes, Christian staying on his board, darting an occasional glance my way from time to time. I emptied the full contents of my bottle and watched the paint melt down the side of the vehicle before my actions were even complete. Once done, I quickly gave a thumbs up and backed into the bushes. Christian instantly perked up with a smile:
“Oh! I remember where I live! Thank you so much for the help!!” and he dashed off in the opposite direction from where we lived.
We never got caught for damaging the image of a fellow citizen. It was wrong to take advantage of someone, especially unaware. It was back handed, sneaky, destructive, irresponsible and not very nice.
I did, however, feel I had a great future in chemistry.
Well, that…or politics.
My Latest Book
