Your mother, my beloved.

Dear Children,

I’m a strict parent. I know it’s not a secret and that will not change. Each family member has duties, responsibilities and rules to follow so we can achieve and maintain our happy little home. Doesn’t always work, I know, but you have all seen that it works far more than not. Your mother and I love each other and we love all of you dearly. We base our decisions upon principle, not the popular whims of your friends or their own families, which at times has caused friction between us. The rest of the chaos in our home is based on selfishness. Feelings so important to us that we simply will not listen to another point of view or humble ourselves to be instructed by those with more wisdom and experience.

I’ve tried to show you that most of the worlds problems are from nothing more than a root in selfishness. Think about that one for a spell and see where you come up. Blame world hunger, war, the bad politicians we have in every facet of this government on whatever else you like, but 9 out of 10 times it’s gonna be complete horse crap.

It all eventually comes down to selfishness.

In this family, there is a patriarchal order. You don’t have to agree with that, doesn’t matter in the least because this family is not a democracy. You may elect to establish one in your own family someday, but in this family, everyone has a place and a measure of respect, simply because of who you are. I don’t yell at you or spank you or even ground you. I talk with you and strive to work out the problems between us. I love you. You’re part of our family unit and that means something, from birth to death. It means something to me, your father.

However, in this family you must realize mom is the Queen.

kathi and me 300x225 Your mother, my beloved.

I love each of you children with all my heart. I would die for you and take life for you, but someday each and every one of you are going to leave this home and start families or lives of your own. What will remain is your mother and I. She doesn’t know this, but one of the things I felt when we met so long ago, was an excitement about growing old together. To care for her, protect her and cherish her forever.

I loved her first. I loved her the most. I will love her last.

You don’t understand this yet, but the love I have for your mother cannot be defined. Not without making it sound less than what it truly is. Words truly cannot describe the experiences of growing old together and building dreams together, sharing the pain and suffering, the stress and grief along with untold joy. You must experience it for yourself.

Just know this: I choose her.

If you act in such a way as to divide this house and make me choose, you will lose every time. I am on the side of correct principle. Your mother also lives by principle and is why she holds the respect of so many, including myself. You fight her because of your selfishness, wanting to have your choices supported, regardless of who they may hurt. I caution you not to alienate your greatest defender…because she has kept your butts away from many a swatting over the years.

She is the mercy in our home. I am not. Keep that in mind.

Know that when you step outside the bounds of your place and bring disrespect upon this family and most particularly upon your own mother, you chose to go where I cannot follow. At that point, she no longer stands as your mother. She then becomes my wife and I will defend and protect her from you.

As your father I have many expectations, hopes, desires and requests. However, I have one absolute demand:

Respect and honor your mother. She is Queen of my heart, my home and my family. She is my life, my love and my beloved. God help any person who wounds her heart and gets within my reach.

She brought you into this life, bearing you in pain and anguish. Has raised you in love, caring for you, cooking for you, cleaning your clothes and educating you. She deals with your tantrums, your misconceptions, open rebellions and unrighteous accusations. Yet she bears with you in patience, in love and cares for you regardless, unwilling to leave you to your own design. All these things she does to help you develop and have a good life. Above all, she is your advocate with me, when many times you act in such a way I felt it would be wise to simply make another.

You are free to feel as you wish towards me, but I’m here as your father first, then your friend, not the reverse. I now draw the line at your feet and plead with you not to cross it.

Please, respect and love your mother.

This is non negotiable.

Love,

Your Father.

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6 Comments

  1. Jillian Kayden /

    Jaime, I just wanted to tell you that I was so very touched by this article. I told my husband about it, and he teared up when he read it out loud.

    He said he felt so close to that, it hurt.

    You hit a good cord in both of us and i appreciate that.

    Thank You.
    Jillian

  2. Daniel /

    Pretty intense there. It hit a chord with me, even though I’m divorced. One of my struggles was standing up for my wife.

    I had a strong relationship with my dad that got in the way and I lost her. We don’t even talk now. Luckily we didn’t have any children to let down…but this made me wonder.

    I’m torn between saying thank you…or damn you for bringing these feelings up.

    Regardless, I’m grateful for the honesty.

  3. Aspen B. /

    I didn’t think men like you existed.

    Now I just need to find one for myself. Your wife is a very blessed woman.

    So are your children.

  4. Cory M. /

    I’m curious to know what your kids thought of this Jaime. Any chance of letting us know of their reaction?

    Thank you for this blog. I find it amazing and uplifting. Not always from the information itself, but rather because of your honesty.

  5. Mark Kelly /

    I’m still in shock to find out you have 10 kids and one on the way! That’s incredible, especially if you were out here in MASS.

    God Bless you for the words and the in depth emotions you’re sharing man. I can tell it’s not always easy…but there’s a passion behind your writing I’m becoming addicted to.

    Can’t wait for my sweetheart to read this.

    Hang in there Jaime, you’re words are important!!

    • 10 kids, and they’re all mine. That’s what I love about it–being a father is the best thing in the world. That is, next to being a husband.

      Thank you for the comments.

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