The state of the world disturbs me. It becomes almost unbearable to listen to the current news, to read the newspapers and listen to the lives taken, the violence, the atrocities against children in every part of the world…especially in our own backyard. As a father of 10+1 and a brother of 18, the thought of a person harming a child turns my stomach.
Its been burning in my mind and I want to share my own opinion with you in the hopes that you’ll share your views with me. To share with those out there looking for the strength to stand up for their own beliefs, hopefully raising the bar of parenthood. I know it’s a lofty goal, but it’s worth the fight.
It all started as a conversation with Kathi (my sweet wife) as we drove in the car, talking about this blog and how I wanted to share hope through Wanted Hero (my comics and novels). We talked about the Rights of Children and how we as adults have a distorted perspective at times when it comes to what our children actually have rights to, or miss what we should be addressing altogether.
My baby girl Carley Rosina, named after my mom.
First off, shouldn’t we look at the child in and of itself? When a child is brought into this world, it (he/she) comes with a set of obligations on our part. It comes with the child’s creation, because its something WE did. We CHOSE to use our bodies in such a way to create another. Make excuses if you think it’ll help, but once you engage with the opposite sex, you are electing to start a process which creates a drive to make a child. You are responsible.
Now consider that child. It is the weakest creature born on planet Earth in the animal kingdom. When they are born they require immediate and constant care, being completely dependent upon others (it’s parents) for its survival. It cannot walk, communicate or feed itself. You called. It came. Now what?
Too many parents or those contemplating parenthood consider this a ‘pastime’ rather than a life mission. Unfortunately I had many friends who’s parents didn’t show more than mild acknowledgment towards them, and they spent most of their time at my own home. In many instances it was the pursuit of worldly goods, rather than family excellence. Not the required day-to-day needs, but the pursuit of toys, fine clothes and status symbols of various types.
My little buddy, Simon Paul (age 3).
It’s not good enough to simply bring a child into existence, providing nothing more than sustenance and leaving it to its own design. It is your responsibility to provide a foundation for your child to grow and become a productive member of society with the skill set to provide for it’s own comfort and the ability to improve upon all it has and has become.
Namely Love, Security & Education.
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You know, as I remember it, the intention of my thoughts that day were to provide some clarity and especially strength to other parents. Because being a parent is hard, confusing, often lonely, and did I mention just pretty dang hard?
With a constant lack of sleep, and living in a world that would deceive us by shouting they are on the parents side but actually planning subterfuge, and on a day when hearing your children say mom again and again might as well be a cuss word because you don’t want to hear them yell, cry or whine it one more time – how come we’re expected to be the strong one, the nice one, the one with all the right answers (and that’s relative, you know, depending on which child your talking to)?
I am trying to make things as simple as possible and based on true principles here, but isn’t it ultimately every good parents roll to raise their child to be a good human being – because we know that if they are good they can also be happy – and a productive useful person so that they can take care of themselves? I think that everything we do can fall into those two categories – all the rules and all the rewards. Anyway, that is where I came up with the principle of the ‘rights of a child.’ We are having a lot of awesome experiences, huh, sweetie? Maybe in our 105 years of parenting we have a little something to share. (I figure that since every child is different and requires a personal twist of parenting we get to count those years independently and not collectively. 18 + 17 + 15 + 14 + 12 + 10 + 7 + 6 + 3 + 2 + 2 months = 105)