It was a long but good weekend, starting off with Cesilea’s 18th birthday, charged with loud and excited youth in celebration of another semi-adult joining their tribe.
Saturday and Sunday brought some challenges in reminders of how our parenting style and system has changed over the years. It came up while observing Jami Taylor and Ethany coming out of their room several times in the late evening (when they’re supposed to be a asleep), to tattle on siblings when it was completely unnecessary.
Parents have a difficult job, just from the duty of providing and caring for the physical needs of a child. With each new life comes an unlimited string of variables no one can predict, from personality traits to when the dog might be shaved bald and painted an off pink. Now compound that stress level by having the responsibility of providing their emotional, mental and spiritual needs as well. This is no easy task.
The main catch 22 of the parenting equation, however, is the job itself.
You see, while you have your offspring under a microscope, they have one firmly fixed on you as well.
Babies are MEANT to be cute, so you totally forget what they'll be like once they're teenagers...
As young children grow into teenagers and momentarily become retarded by the ‘I know more than you could possibly understand’ gene, they fail to realize that we as parents are plagued by a no win situation. We are trying to teach and guide while trying to learn and grow ourselves. This also means we, as the parents make mistakes and errors in our judgment as we try to perfect our job.
Heaven forbid! Mistakes you say? Aye, mistakes.
Yet children, whether it be from a genetic predisposition or simple youth prejudice, rarely give us the benefit of the doubt (or leeway) they openly and boldly demand (or hope) we give them. We have the double burden of trying to teach our kids while being examples worthy of emulation, while they scrape our tired, spent bodies across their unyielding microscope looking for flaws.
When my oldest children approached me not long ago and asked why I didn’t treat them the same way I do their little siblings, all I could do was shrug my shoulders and give them hugs.
“I didn’t know how to do that when you were little. I’m sorry.”
It’s actually a profound revelation for teenagers if you can sit them down to have arational talk on this subject, but for those who simply have a house full of hormone dominant teenagers who can only see their one point of view, take heart. You’re far from alone.
It happens to every single parent on planet Earth.
Welcome to the club.
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