Children are their oppressors.

A strange title for a post, but a good one after what I witnessed today. Kathilynn had the same experience, but gratefully, we saw seperate sides of the same situation.

We are camping at the moment. It’s our family reunion. The same place, every year, at the same time…and we all love this week more than Christmas. Well, as I was sitting out in the 98 degree sun, by the pool, watching my 10 children playing in the water, a lone child, between 7 and 9 years of age, came to join us. Hey, the more the merrier. My daughters said ‘hi’ and asked if she’d like to join their game of marco polo. She declined. That’s perfectly normal, we’re strangers to her…so good for her as far as I’m concerned.

The odd part came out when her father showed up.

Here’s a kind tempered man, who walks with a hunch, looks to be in his early fifties and worn to the bone. He comes to make sure his daughter has what she needs: her goggles, floating raft, towel, sun screen. What a great dad. Life resumes for a time, and then she starts to complain. It’s too hot, the waters too cold and she’s hungry. She doesn’t do anything about it–but rather sits on the floating device which her father just spent 15 minutes blowing up by mouth and yells for her father. He takes the childs order for food and rushes off. About 20 minutes later, he’s returned with the lunch, almost the way she likes it, but not quite. She makes sure her father, and the rest of us, know she is not pleased.

He says he wants to go do something while she’s in the pool, it’s important, but she screams at him to stay. He asks, always so kindly and attentive, what she needs and she, of course, tells him. She wants him to sit and watch…until she’s done. So he pulls up a chair and sits there waiting, as she swims. Ok, I can swallow it up to this point as a father–he seems to be a decent fellow, but in my own mind, this child doesn’t have a clue of where her place is, or any idea of how the world will put her in it eventually. But here comes the doosey:

A cell phone rings.

Not the dads. Hers. She’s a little child, and she has a phone. Ok, I see plenty of them around…but the father now rushes to answer it, fumbling through her towel and clicks it on. He panics and comes to the side of the pool and apologizes profusely to this child, for not answering it fast enough, and let’s her know it’s ‘Tony’. She gets out of the pool, runs over to grab the phone from her fathers hand and starts dialing, dripping over the phone and turning her back on her father with the snap of:

“Dad, you need to answer quicker next time–Tony is my boyfriend!”

The next 30 minutes was watching this kid walking around the pool, talking on the phone, dropping the call, calling back, mocking other children and telling Tony how dumb her dad is. My kids are in the pool, half of them want to vomit, but my 7 year old asks me frankly:

“Dad, why is she so mean to her own dad?”

I sat there in shock and disgust for may reasons, but I want to stay on point here in reflection of what my wife felt. My view ends quite abruptly with a swat on the butt and a list of chores. She was looking to the father, and how his kindness and love was unappreciated, unnoticed and that he was not receiving any respect due to him, should he have done nothing more than provide food and shelter. I agree with her. She watched the child and noticed the sad look on her fathers face, sitting there, obviously understanding that the world does not revolve around such personalities or demands, and that his lack of fundamental teaching wasn’t helping either of them.

Sure, if she gets into trouble, daddy can rescue her…for now. Yet how many of us fold on correct principles because it’s convenient? It’s only a couple dollars to get this, give that,…I’m so tired, etc. Yet compromising our principles are what cause so many problems in our own lives, our own families, communities and this country. As parents, I want to stress that you don’t have to settle. Being the strong, firm role allows for overall development not only for your child, but for yourself. This is NOT the environment where you can leave a child to their own design…because that design will turn out to be destruction.

It is my own personal belief that those parents who are worth even half their weight in salt, are those who seek to raise a better generation of children than the one they came from.

Sadly, I saw the fulfillment of scripture today in Isiah 3:12 12 ¶ As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them.

Jaime Buckley can be contacted at jaimebuckley@gmail.com